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Chipchopper

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Chipchopper
The perils of buying goods online. I bought a patio/bistro set, and was not told in which country it was made, or that it would arrive it a flat pack.  Also, it was impossible to assemble due to... ...
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Chipchopper
When the missus saw me getting my golfing gear ready, she said, "Not golf again? You played all day yesterday" I said yeah, but we are doing the second hole today!
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Chipchopper
I just took a peek out of the kitchen window, and I saw a magpie prancing around on the lawn with a large chip, lengthways in it beak. I thought to myself, toucan play at this game!
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Chipchopper
Another day dawn. Hope you enjoy whatever you've planned, or unplanned
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Chipchopper
Are grass snakes known to eat fish ?
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Chipchopper
Hope the sun shines for you today. Isn't it ironic ?, I bought a strong pair of snips, to open some tough plastic packaging, and spent the next half hour trying to cut through the sealed plastic... ...
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Chipchopper
A man made an appointment with his doctor after he kept seeing cream cakes floating about in the corners of his eyes. Dr said not to worry its just your profiterole vision.
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Chipchopper
Anybody wanting advice on cannabis, please press the# key
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Chipchopper
I went down to the library the other day, and I asked the lady behind the desk, "have you got any books on self-help?" She just looked at me over the top of her glasses and said, "well I could do,... ...
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Chipchopper
I was in a burger joint enjoying my meal, when suddenly out of the blue, some maniac strolled in and squirted tomato ketchup in my eyes. With the benefit of heinzite, I would have sat somewhere else🙄
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Chipchopper
on this long Spring Bank Holiday! Any  good plans for you ?
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Chipchopper
Suddenly it's gone dark, hope it brightens up for you soon. Take care folks!
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Chipchopper
Hope your day turns out to something fantastic. Take care folks!
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Chipchopper
Some idiot at the office turned up for work with sticky hair, I said to him "why on earth did you come to work looking like that" "He said, well, the label on the jar said... ...
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Chipchopper
I spotted a large beetle in my garden today (Bigger than a bumble bee) Which glowed irridecent colours, from green to gold. Can anyone identify it, as I've not looked it up yet ? Never seen one... ...
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Chipchopper
Looks like another beautiful day ahead. Hope the sun shines for you. Take care folks
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Chipchopper
An elderly man answered a knock at the door, and the caller said, "I'm collecting on behalf of the save our swimming pool calpain and all donations will be greatly received. The elderly man said... ...
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Chipchopper
What leys in store today, dare I ask ? Hope it's all good for you today. Take care folks!
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Chipchopper
That was a real humdinger of a storm yesterday, and they say there is more to come, hope It's not too bad. I tend to wake way too early at this time of year, but trying to catch up on sleep is like... ...
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Chipchopper
1st guy, "my old eyes are not what they used to be.....did you see where my ball wend" 2nd guy, Yep...but I can't remember😏

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