Start Your Own Religion?

[mrs_overall]

A thread in R&S has got me thinking. Would you like to start your own religion?
I'll make a start with Overallianity. I don't want any of that grovelling or fawning nonsense with acolytes following me around - you can worship me from afar from the comfort of your own living room (very handy on winter nights).
There are no restrictions on dancing, alcohol or other pleasures although Morris Dancing, listening to country & western music and jazz is strictly forbidden.
Followers will go to hell (namely another chat forum whose name shall not be mentioned) if they EVER discuss ANY reality TV programmes in my presence.

There are NO scams such as direct debits into my bank account. Donations of Marigolds (yellow only), designer shoes/boots with killer heels (size 10) and Sainsburys vouchers will be gratefully received as offerings.
In return you will get a weekly sermon and personal advice as required.
You will not have to spend any time on your knees, unless of course I summons you for a personal audience and the kitchen floor happens to need a scrub at the same time.
Feel free to sign up.

[sandyRoe]

Will older acolytes be excused genuflection? As one gets on a bit the knees aren't what they once were.

[mccfluff]

whose up for eviction on cbb tonight?

[Barmaid]

i'll join if you can tell me tonight's winning euromillions numbers. Ta.

[jomifl]

This sounds like your religion not mine, where jazz is obligatory.

[corylus]

I insist on being a disciple, at a distance of course.

[snags]

''Start Your Own Religion?''

Ok:

http://www.bay-of-fundie.com/img/2009/beaver-lick.jpg

[corylus]

Afterthought, and if you can turn my water (from the tap!!) into wine I'll be very grateful.

[lady-janine]

will you be throwing away your little book? peace and harmony and all that sort of rubbish.

[mrs_overall]

The finer points still have to be worked out.

I am out tonight but as proof of my greatness I will reveal tonight's winning Euromillions numbers to you in the morning

[sandyRoe]

When you out tonight, Mrs O, will you be taking the opportunity to turn a glass or two of wine into water?

[mrs_overall]

Oh that old trick....it has been done before

What I can do is turn a bottle or red wine into a clear (well, yellowish) liquid.
No other prophet/saint/messiah/whatever has ever boasted of that trick before!

[lady-janine]

still think the water into wine sounds better.

[berniecuddles]

er! no thx mrs o

[boxtops]

If you can start this, can I start a splinter group called KitKatianity? I'm on this diet, and can only worship KatKats from afar :-(

[pixie373]

That sounds like my kind of religion! Although i might fail on the reality TV bit. Do we really have to put icing sugar in every drink, though?

[boxtops]

I bet Mrs O makes the men wear very short shorts, and wax their legs :-)

[giveup]

I'd love to join,but I like Country and Western music.

[Alex_Higham]

I would wish ABers to acknowledge what I learned from a Victorian type gentleman (when I was in work more than 60yrs ago) ...."There is Not any Religion below the Navel".

[gness]

I did once start a religion....The Portswood Brethren. While MrG was suffering the agonies of hospital food others could bring in tasty food on religious grounds.

I wasn't allowed to until I started my own religion with special dietary requirements.....the Mars Bar bit took some getting past the hospital admin but I got there. As you know only to well....if you're feisty they can be worn down!......☻

The Portswood Brethren bit the dust six years ago and I am ready to be led by any fruit and nutcase that tickles my fancy....though the shoes could be a problem....don't suppose you're interested in size 2?

I do have some Sainsbury's vouchers but you'll have to pretend you are me to use them.....will that be difficult? You could take the accordion with you as proof.....☺

[Psybbo]

Right, I'm a Believer