I bet a mate I could eat a dog food sandwich.
I didn't Winalot.
If your pet iguana is sick, do you have a reptile dysfunction?
Two lions walking down a supermarket aisle.
One turns to the other and says, "Quiet in here today, isn't it?"
Originally, God wanted wasps to pollinate flowers but that didn't work so he resorted to Plan Bee
I must have the smartest dog in the world.
I once asked him what 7 times 7 minus 49 was - he said nothing.
I saw a sign in a restaurant "chicken dinner 50p."
I went in and ordered one and the waiter brought me a plate of bird seed.
I finally managed to teach my dog to beg. Last night he came home with fifty pounds.
Police reported earlier today that a cattle truck had tipped on its side, killing the driver and all 100 cattle on board. The family of the driver announced there will be a memorial service to commemorate the driver, followed by an all-you-can-eat barbecue.
I've just been to the Galapagos Islands and wiped out all the giant tortoises.
It was turtle annihilation.
We had to say goodbye to our German Shepherd yesterday.
Auf wiedersehen, pet.