Crosswords4 mins ago
Is It Wrong To Want Your Parents
38 Answers
To just die?
I spent 12 hours yesterday at the hospital with my mum as she had a suspected blood clot on her lungs...as if she hasn't enough to cope with. Blood tests, 1 hour on a drip, a CT scan and a further 6 hours on a drip (due to kidney problems). Been pulled from pillar to post, with a cancerous tumour in her arm (and cancer in her skull and ribs), all terminal and painful! Just to see if she is 'well' enough for chemo...which will basically poison her body that's dying anyway.
She's so ill today its just painful to watch.
What is this obsession about trying to keep people alive...albeit in pain...that are dying?
Its just madness that serves no-one. Neither them nor the relatives left behind.
Before anyone jumps in...yes, Ive had a drink. Im finding it difficult at the moment and I apologise in advance for any untowards comments made either last night or since, I don't cope well with things like this and lash out. Im sorry.
Just don't understand why the medical profession wont just admit that life ends rather than keep on trying to prolong the inevitable at the cost of causing suffering?
I don't want my mum to die but she must (as we all must) just don't want to see her in so much pain.
BTW Rock Rose, I know that you are in the same boat as me at the minute re: your Dad.
Your thoughts might be different from mine at this point but just want you to know that you have my empathy.
I spent 12 hours yesterday at the hospital with my mum as she had a suspected blood clot on her lungs...as if she hasn't enough to cope with. Blood tests, 1 hour on a drip, a CT scan and a further 6 hours on a drip (due to kidney problems). Been pulled from pillar to post, with a cancerous tumour in her arm (and cancer in her skull and ribs), all terminal and painful! Just to see if she is 'well' enough for chemo...which will basically poison her body that's dying anyway.
She's so ill today its just painful to watch.
What is this obsession about trying to keep people alive...albeit in pain...that are dying?
Its just madness that serves no-one. Neither them nor the relatives left behind.
Before anyone jumps in...yes, Ive had a drink. Im finding it difficult at the moment and I apologise in advance for any untowards comments made either last night or since, I don't cope well with things like this and lash out. Im sorry.
Just don't understand why the medical profession wont just admit that life ends rather than keep on trying to prolong the inevitable at the cost of causing suffering?
I don't want my mum to die but she must (as we all must) just don't want to see her in so much pain.
BTW Rock Rose, I know that you are in the same boat as me at the minute re: your Dad.
Your thoughts might be different from mine at this point but just want you to know that you have my empathy.
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I don't understand why the medical profession insist on keeping people alive at all costs when it is plain for all to see that the outcome won't be a good one. You are there for your mum nailit and there's not much more you can do except be strong for her sake. Try to get some rest, gird your loins and face another day.
It may seem like semantics, but I think the point is important - I would feel like it was not that I wanted my mum to die, more that I didn't want her to live - and suffer - any more, which is an important difference.
I understand that the medical profession are bound to preserve life as long as possible, and that may seem cruel in circumstances like this, but there has to be a rule for everyone, to avoid someone having to draw a line where death is preferable, because everyone's situation is unique, and it's a slippery slope to go down, which is why the medical profession remain at the top of that slope, hard though that it for a lot of people, and their relatives, to bear.
I understand that the medical profession are bound to preserve life as long as possible, and that may seem cruel in circumstances like this, but there has to be a rule for everyone, to avoid someone having to draw a line where death is preferable, because everyone's situation is unique, and it's a slippery slope to go down, which is why the medical profession remain at the top of that slope, hard though that it for a lot of people, and their relatives, to bear.
//your mum is perfectly at liberty to refuse any treatment she doesn't want.//
my mum thinks that she may get better, at least for a time. She doesn't understand the horrors of chemo.
//dont feel guilty, i don't think you really want her to die - you want her to be well! //
I do bednobs. But I got to face reality. She isn't! She's dying.
Its killing me but that life.
my mum thinks that she may get better, at least for a time. She doesn't understand the horrors of chemo.
//dont feel guilty, i don't think you really want her to die - you want her to be well! //
I do bednobs. But I got to face reality. She isn't! She's dying.
Its killing me but that life.
Am sorry youre in despair & sympathise with ur feelings. Your mum can request no resusitation. How old is ur mum? Is she ready to go? There are drugs for pain free & sleep to keep her comfortable. Stay with her as much as possible as these hours are precious comfort for you when the end comes, dont let your frustration mar this time. Good wishes to give you strength x
