Friends

[hannah40]

I have known a friend for over 50 years and she has been the dominant one in our friendship.
Over the years I have become more confident and outspoken and the friend still brings me down.
If I haven’t been in touch for a while she doesn’t get in touch with me and then goes round telling everyone that we know mutually that I’m at fault.it really doesn’t matter who is at fault because it turns back to me.
I’ve always agreed but now I can’t be bothered any more she had a new conservatory a few years ago and then I got one during the first lockdown and she told me that I had copied her. We have 8 n our house hold and it was a joint decision from all of us.
So as I have not seen or heard from her and I hadn’t been in touch with her I was going to leave the friendship to die but my Husband bumped in to her and she went on at him about me not being in touch and my husband said to me leave it be now as he thinks some friendships are not worth continuing with.
Should I get back in touch or just leave it as it is.
The friend also runs my family down.

[Redhelen72]

You don’t need friends like that, let her go .

[emmie]

just what i was going to say, with friends like that who needs enemies.

[mallyh]

she sounds horrible, i'd keep away from her x

[emmie]

i had a friend like that, she disrespected my family for heaven only knows what reason, after she slept with the guy i was seeing i dropped her, hurt beyond belief that after more than 20 years she could be so deceitful.

[barry1010]

This woman is not your friend, stay well away.

[Hopkirk]

A nasty bully.

[davebro]

//the friend still brings me down.//

NOT a friend - ditch her!

[roopower]

Let it go. She doesn't sound much like a friend to me.

[anneasquith]

As we get older we get wiser, don’t fret about a friendship which appears not to have been very happy for you.

[Ringlet]

This person has controlled and bullied you for so many years and she is unlikely to change now.
You have to be the one to change.
Don't put up with her behaviour any longer. Don't get in touch, and ignore her nasty comments to others about you.
Other people are likely to know exactly what kind of person she is, so they won't pay much attention to her comments. You are better off without her.

[AuntPG]

She is not your friend. She is someone who probably enjoys controlling you and making you feel less worthy than her. She obviously thinks you need her more than she needs you. Prove her wrong. I would not let it fizzle though, I would tell her you are moving on and are no longer prepared to put up with her behaviour. If you can't face her personally then email or write to her, put yourself in control and ask her not to get in touch with you again. What she says about you to other people, you have no control over/ Personally, I would not want 'friends' who believe things about me or my family said by someone who is malicious. They are not friends either.

[Smowball]

That is NOT a friend!! You have changed over the years and wised up by the sound of it - she seems to sulk when you don’t run after her! Walk away, you deserve much better friends x

[elliemay1]

Just leave it as it is. There is no need to get in touch with her at all, she's not a friend. People like her are insecure in their own lives and need to bring someone down to make themselves feel good.

[eleanor2]

Agree with ellie. You don't owe her any explanation, cut the ties.

[naomi24]

It’s very difficult to discard old friends but when stark reality hits and you realise they’re not your friend, for your own sake do it and move on. Life will continue without her and yours will be happier for it. Best wishes to you.

[rowanwitch]

Just find a way of getting the word out discretely as to why you have ended the friendship. It's like when you split from a partner,people will make up all sort unless you make sure they know the truth. You don't want people to make your life difficult because of this nasty controlling person.

[zylaphone]

I agree with Ellie. Don’t feel bad, cut ties and just get on with your other friends and family. She sounds a sad lady

[Maydup]

Just ignore her now. No doubt she has a reputation for being a bully, if she goes round talking about you and your family, then she'll be doing it about others so no need to explain to her or anyone.