Insulting

[maggiebee]

His head was an hourglass; it could stow an idea but it had to do it a grain at a time

- Mark Twain

I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception

- Groucho Marx

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends

- Oscar Wilde

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork

- Mae West


Sure you could add more to this?

[Barmaid]

Nancy Astor to Winston Churchill "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea"
Winston Churchill to Nancy Astor "Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."

It is attributed to WC, but is doubted that he actually had that exchange.

[237SJ]

"I remember a designer who said her dresses were worn only by intelligent women. Naturally she went bankrupt.

Karl Lagerfeld

[naomi24]

Sir, you are drunk.

Madam, you are ugly - but in the morning I shall be sober.

(Not the exact words - just from memory - attributed to various people including Sir Winston Churchill, I think).

[retrocop]

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge
He/She only gargled.

Wheel is turning but the hamster is dead

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching

If brains were taxed he/she would get a rebate

If you gave him/she a penny for their thoughts you would get change

A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

He/ she is like Vick's Sinex. A little squirt that gets up your nose


His men would follow him anywhere but only out of curiosity

This man hasn't enough grey matter to sole the flip-flop of a one legged budgie

[Grumpygrandad]

He's an idiot looking for a village.

[Togo]

You are doing the work of 2 men. ... Laurel and Hardy!

[JimF]

In the Cabinet War Rooms, there is a door marked "W.C.". It was assumed that it was Churchill's private office, but actually was just the toilet. The lore goes that he was in there one day when his secretary banged on the door and said: "Mr Prime Minister, the Lord Privy Seal is here to see you." To which Churchill replied: "Tell his lordship that I'm already sealed in my own privy and can only deal with one ***. at a time."

[LadyCG]

"I am convinced you will die of a pox or on the gallows"

'That depends on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles."

Can't remember who said it.

[JimF]

The asterisks represent a slang word for faeces which rhymes with grit.

[roopower]

Dorothy Parker of Katherine Hepburns acting. " She ran the gamut of emotions from a to b"