my love for my best mate

[starlight123]

im in love with my best mate, we have both been thru alot he knows i love him to bits and says that he doesnt want to lose our freindship and wud rather have me for life then for a short amount of time, he has been out with a another girl since ive told him , i found it hard but got on with things, still being there for him and having a laugh with him, when this gf broke up with him, i was there for him and we still had laughs, he wants another gf desperatly as he doesnt want to be lonely. he has been txting and chatting up other girls to get a gf, he tells me all this but it really hurts, he assures me im never gonna lose him and ill always have him but its not enuff, i fort it wud be easier cus ive done it before but its even worse this time, im not strong enough and i keep going emotional and crying really easily, someone please tell me what i can do, thank you loads x x

[divegirl]

Hi, poor you....it's awful when love doesn't run both ways.....but unfortunately he seems to have made it clear that he doesn't feel 'that way' towards you. It's time to be strong and move on and if that includes leaving him behind then so be it! How long do you want to spend being there for him? A year....two? Just except him for the friendship that he offers and get on with your own life. You seem like you have a lot to give to some one....don't waste your time on a person who can not give you what you want. May not be what you want to hear....but seldom in life do we hear what we want to.

Lisa x

[China Doll]

I'm sorry Star but you only have one option that I can see and that is tell him outright that you want to try being more than friends, if he still says no then you have to walk away from this friendship and give yourself some space.

I know that may sound a little harsh but if you're crying all the time and feeling miserable then as much as you like the guy the friendship is not worth the emotional damage it's doing you and you'd be better off giving yourself a break from the situation.

I hope it all works out for you tho.

[starlight123]

its just hard cus he says he needs me and he is an emotional guy aswell and even if i left him to it, he wud be hurt as he really needs me there as a mate but i fink its my problem cus im to naive to just let go of my feelings for him, im 19 and its the fist time ive felt like this for anyone, ive never had another guy in my life before either. i just find it hard knowing i cant make him happy like another girl wud do even tho i wud do anything for him

[starlight123]

the thing is pa_ul he always says to me he wants someone that he could love and cuddle up to and spend most of his time with and love for the rest of his life, he wants to be romantic and have wonderful endless nights with her, its hard hearing these things cus thats what i want and i want it with him but i cant give him that. i really love him as a person, friend and companion, i miss him when im not with him and when i am with him i still miss him cus i cant be with him. ohhh help

[China Doll]

Star, put distance between your mate. I'm sorry that he'll be sad if you two can't be friends any more but the fact is you clearly can't be just friends with him. You'll always want more. You need to walk away.

And also, 19 is very young to know exactly what you want or don't want in life. At 19 I was living with someone... I'm sure I thought I was very grown up and I'd be with that person forever and ever at the time. Well I'm not with that person now. Things change. I actually think that Paul may have a point regarding getting the little flings out of the system.

[divegirl]

We're trying starlight......but you're not listening.... You said you've told him that you 'love him to bits'. Did you make it clear that you meant in a non-platonic way? If you did then like has been said before....you can't make him love you in any other way than as a friend. Now the really harsh bit....he's told you what he's looking for.....some one to love and hug and spend his life loving....it doesn't appear to be you. Don't waste your life longing for something you can't have. You are both young and maybe what pa_ul says is right, if so at least set a time limit...say 6 months.....and if he can't give you what you want....move on, for your own sanity and personal growth. You've got so much life to live....please don't waste it.

Lisa x

[starlight123]

thank you guys i do understand what each of you are saying, and i am young so maybe its hard but i do hope in my heart ill always love him. it hurts no matter what happens. i try hard to be there for him and i just think i shud accept it all and somedays i can but sometimes im too weak and cant, thanks guys tho i appreciate it all

[ummmm]

I had a thing going with my best mate years ago and we're still best mates!

[divegirl]

You're not waek....just human....we can all fall in love at the wrong time in our lives........

Now pa_ul....where's that mistletoe....XXX

[divegirl]

you're not weak either!!! ...... must lay off the Christmas spirit.....

[China Doll]

You'll be alright tiddler.... promise.
Take care xx