News0 min ago
fed up! should i do it?
5 Answers
since i was born my life has been hell. though my mother is not an acoholic,drug user or dead beat mom, she has made my life hell. i live with my mother-my father (deceased). my mother has treated me like trash all my life she is demented and very immature. she has gone as far as humiliating me ,making me feel low and her negativity has affected me physically and mentally for years. for years i've felt lower then dirt under a rock and now im finally seeing that im worth more then she says i am. within the last 2 years i have built up my self esteem and i am very mature for my age most people think i am at least 18 - 20 yrs old. i am actually 16.
i haven't had any support from my family NO ONE BUT MY BESTFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND . through the years i have stayed in school and brought home straight a's-b's . i stay motivated by believing in my self and by my bestfriend and boyfriend believing in me . i have now decided become emancipated and move away from all the drama and ******** my family likes to drag and pull me through. i am now pregnant and i and currently working gong to school and i have 2 scholarships. i really want to get out of this troubled life and make sure that my daughter has a much better one then i do and might i add my father neither my mothers father was there for us but my childs father is here and might i add he is 23. though i know i can't rely on that i do have a plan b. always. also please don't judge me we were friends for a very long time before we decided to date and when we did date he did not know my real age neither did i know his which yeah it a careless mistake but it happens. we did not find out each others age till furthe along in are relationship and by then it was to late we were already in love with each other and we still areof 2years.
i haven't had any support from my family NO ONE BUT MY BESTFRIEND AND BOYFRIEND . through the years i have stayed in school and brought home straight a's-b's . i stay motivated by believing in my self and by my bestfriend and boyfriend believing in me . i have now decided become emancipated and move away from all the drama and ******** my family likes to drag and pull me through. i am now pregnant and i and currently working gong to school and i have 2 scholarships. i really want to get out of this troubled life and make sure that my daughter has a much better one then i do and might i add my father neither my mothers father was there for us but my childs father is here and might i add he is 23. though i know i can't rely on that i do have a plan b. always. also please don't judge me we were friends for a very long time before we decided to date and when we did date he did not know my real age neither did i know his which yeah it a careless mistake but it happens. we did not find out each others age till furthe along in are relationship and by then it was to late we were already in love with each other and we still areof 2years.
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It'll be a miracle if you stay together, but I wish you well ladypeach. The problem is, that within a few short years, you could both find yourselves being very different to how you are now, and looking after a child properly's a full-time job. If you're thinking of going to work, which'd be to your advantage at your age, then splitting the job of being a mum, and working towards your future can be very difficult. I'm pleased that you were able to gain some confidence in yourself, despite your upbringing, but perhaps one day you'll understand the issues which led your mum to treat you as she has, and then not to pass them onto your own children.
oh please im going to be honest now. EVERY teenager has a sob story. EVERY teenager says their life has been hell since theyve been born. EVERY teenager is practically unable to say anything nice about their life at all. So im inclined to take this story with a pinch of salt. My sister when she was a teenager used to go round to my uncles house and tell him what an awful life she had at home. She used to make up ridiculous stories about my mum saying how she abuses her, beats her doesnt feed her etc etc etc. Oh life is so hard isnt it? What a loud of crap she used to spout to anyone who would listen.
If this story is true...then i apologise - my experience with my sister has taught me well.
Well what can i say? you shouldnt have got pregnant in the first place. And 16 is young. Regardless of how mature you think you are. And dont give me that condom didnt work thing or i was on the pill and it didnt work rubbish. Youve now wonderfully contributed to being another statistic on the young mums list. Getting a job and becoming a full time mum? You have NO idea how hard this is going to be. Now your pregnant you might hate it but youll be best staying at home just for the sake of not having to worry about paying rent or the bills.
The likley hood of your boyfriend staying with you after the baby is born is very small. But i can tell you now you wont accept it because your in love (apparently)
You wont like this harsh response. And i dont blame you. But it has to be said. If you didnt - i could atleast say find a job with live in accomodation. Some pubs offer a flat, and some hotels offer a place to stay where you work there as well. One peice of advise i can give is this - dont forget your benifits. No one else does. Then when you get your "free" money - i can thank you for taking it off my pay check, which i worked hard for. So thank you in advance.
If this story is true...then i apologise - my experience with my sister has taught me well.
Well what can i say? you shouldnt have got pregnant in the first place. And 16 is young. Regardless of how mature you think you are. And dont give me that condom didnt work thing or i was on the pill and it didnt work rubbish. Youve now wonderfully contributed to being another statistic on the young mums list. Getting a job and becoming a full time mum? You have NO idea how hard this is going to be. Now your pregnant you might hate it but youll be best staying at home just for the sake of not having to worry about paying rent or the bills.
The likley hood of your boyfriend staying with you after the baby is born is very small. But i can tell you now you wont accept it because your in love (apparently)
You wont like this harsh response. And i dont blame you. But it has to be said. If you didnt - i could atleast say find a job with live in accomodation. Some pubs offer a flat, and some hotels offer a place to stay where you work there as well. One peice of advise i can give is this - dont forget your benifits. No one else does. Then when you get your "free" money - i can thank you for taking it off my pay check, which i worked hard for. So thank you in advance.
I have to slightly agree with DannyDay in that the story has to be taken with a pinch of salt, i remember thinking my family was the most awfukl thing in the world (NO i didnt go round telling everyone how sh*t my life was, but self pity at its greatest) but as you get older you do realise its never as easy as it looks, and theres no guide book on being a good parent
HOWEVER danny- things do go wrong- protection doesnt work all the time, and if she was using it then atleast its better than those who dont and believe they'll be fine without it... if not then very silly but people make mistakes
and the main point id make to you is that shes not saying shes going to run to the benefits office with a sobstory.. shes actually trying to look for work and be responsible for whats going on- so before you go jumping the barrell with your self ritious response that all young people are just looking for free money you might want to consider that the peice that gets taken out of your pay check not ONLY pays for the police, fire, ambulence, doctors, dentist, state pensions, fixing roads and other council issues which you enjoy the priviledge of and if your lucky enough to have a high paying job i dont think its too much to ask that a small percentage goes to those who arent as fortunate as you...
but of course why would most people care about those people?
lady peach this seems like a very unplanned plan, more like a hormonal tantrum (pregnancy and teenage) and although it feels like you have it all figured out now once your out there and do it theres no goin g back, and as mentioned its not as easy as it looks.
have you tried talking to your mam about how she makes you feel? it may simply be a reflection of how she feels and she doesnt realise shes doing it. Have you told her your pregnant? you might want to talk to people like your bf etc before diving into something that may be too much to handle
HOWEVER danny- things do go wrong- protection doesnt work all the time, and if she was using it then atleast its better than those who dont and believe they'll be fine without it... if not then very silly but people make mistakes
and the main point id make to you is that shes not saying shes going to run to the benefits office with a sobstory.. shes actually trying to look for work and be responsible for whats going on- so before you go jumping the barrell with your self ritious response that all young people are just looking for free money you might want to consider that the peice that gets taken out of your pay check not ONLY pays for the police, fire, ambulence, doctors, dentist, state pensions, fixing roads and other council issues which you enjoy the priviledge of and if your lucky enough to have a high paying job i dont think its too much to ask that a small percentage goes to those who arent as fortunate as you...
but of course why would most people care about those people?
lady peach this seems like a very unplanned plan, more like a hormonal tantrum (pregnancy and teenage) and although it feels like you have it all figured out now once your out there and do it theres no goin g back, and as mentioned its not as easy as it looks.
have you tried talking to your mam about how she makes you feel? it may simply be a reflection of how she feels and she doesnt realise shes doing it. Have you told her your pregnant? you might want to talk to people like your bf etc before diving into something that may be too much to handle
I remember feeling a very similar way about my family and life in general when I was 16. I have to say you sound very much like a 16 year old not 18 or 20, no offense but honestly you'll look back and feel very differently.
When I was 17 I got pregnant with my bf of 2 years and thought we were 'in love'. I wasn't talking to my mum at the time. I decided to have an abortion, for me it was because I was living in a place that came with my job and could only go onto benefits and live in council property, which I didnt want for myself or my child and for some other reasons. I am not saying its the right choice for everyone but for me it was.
I am now 27 and married ... to a different guy than the one I was with at 17 though I was with him for about 4 years. I have a great relationship with my family and see my whole childhood very differently. Basically what I am saying is move away, do what you want but don't write off your family just yet.
I spent years and years not talking to my dad for various things he did, which I dont regret but we talk now and a shorter amount of time not talking to my mum all because of how angry I was with them when I was a teenager. Which with the benefit of being more mature looks very different.
I also have to say that the amount of people who are still with the person they were with at 16 is incredibly small.
Good luck to you though.
When I was 17 I got pregnant with my bf of 2 years and thought we were 'in love'. I wasn't talking to my mum at the time. I decided to have an abortion, for me it was because I was living in a place that came with my job and could only go onto benefits and live in council property, which I didnt want for myself or my child and for some other reasons. I am not saying its the right choice for everyone but for me it was.
I am now 27 and married ... to a different guy than the one I was with at 17 though I was with him for about 4 years. I have a great relationship with my family and see my whole childhood very differently. Basically what I am saying is move away, do what you want but don't write off your family just yet.
I spent years and years not talking to my dad for various things he did, which I dont regret but we talk now and a shorter amount of time not talking to my mum all because of how angry I was with them when I was a teenager. Which with the benefit of being more mature looks very different.
I also have to say that the amount of people who are still with the person they were with at 16 is incredibly small.
Good luck to you though.
You are quite clearly not old enough or mature enough to //become emancipated//
You say that you have known this boy for a long time 2 (years) yet you both didn't know each others age. I find that hard to believe. He surely must have known you were still in school.
You say you are now pregnant and then you mention your daughter. Does this mean you are pregnant for the 2nd time?
It sounds as if rather than being emancipated you are an immature young lady who is going to need all the support she can get.
I'd stay at home.
You say that you have known this boy for a long time 2 (years) yet you both didn't know each others age. I find that hard to believe. He surely must have known you were still in school.
You say you are now pregnant and then you mention your daughter. Does this mean you are pregnant for the 2nd time?
It sounds as if rather than being emancipated you are an immature young lady who is going to need all the support she can get.
I'd stay at home.
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