Strands #259 “Would You Look At...
Quizzes & Puzzles2 mins ago
bednobs update - not good news i'm afraid
hi all, just posting to let you all know how i am doing as some of you have been very kind to ask i think it will be quite helpful to me to write down wahts in my mind anyway.
Unfortunately, when i went for my obs appointment this week, thye found that the baby has not grown enough since the last scan. This is owing to placental insufficiency -the placenta is not giving the baby all it needs. The only rememdy is to deliver, but the baby is too small to survive (showing at 22.5 weeks, despite me being 26 weeks) and it is only 1lb.
This is really too awful to even write down, but i now just have to wait for the baby to die and then deliver. I have to have another scan next week, or if i stop feeling movemenents before then, ring up and go in to be induced. There are so many things going through my head, yet i know there is worse to come. I have an overwhelming feeling of having let everyone down. This baby was so wanted and i couldn't even look after it. I am 36 now and probably wont have another chance, even if i did want to try. I just have sat at home for the last few days, watching dvd's and surfing because as soon as i stop i start to think, about what labour will be like, about silly things like funerals, registering a birth and death on the same day, whether you can even get a dead baby christened, things i can't say out loud, wondering if i want to go on, all the while both dreading and anticipating any movements because each one is like a knife in the heart
I know this is heavy stuff for what is essentially a frothy website, and i'm sorry, i just need to get it out
Unfortunately, when i went for my obs appointment this week, thye found that the baby has not grown enough since the last scan. This is owing to placental insufficiency -the placenta is not giving the baby all it needs. The only rememdy is to deliver, but the baby is too small to survive (showing at 22.5 weeks, despite me being 26 weeks) and it is only 1lb.
This is really too awful to even write down, but i now just have to wait for the baby to die and then deliver. I have to have another scan next week, or if i stop feeling movemenents before then, ring up and go in to be induced. There are so many things going through my head, yet i know there is worse to come. I have an overwhelming feeling of having let everyone down. This baby was so wanted and i couldn't even look after it. I am 36 now and probably wont have another chance, even if i did want to try. I just have sat at home for the last few days, watching dvd's and surfing because as soon as i stop i start to think, about what labour will be like, about silly things like funerals, registering a birth and death on the same day, whether you can even get a dead baby christened, things i can't say out loud, wondering if i want to go on, all the while both dreading and anticipating any movements because each one is like a knife in the heart
I know this is heavy stuff for what is essentially a frothy website, and i'm sorry, i just need to get it out
Answers
The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on....
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on....
18:55 Sun 22nd Aug 2010
Bednobs, you have my sincere and deepest sympathies. There's not much I can say but I hope the following link will help:
http://www.uk-sands.org/
http://www.uk-sands.org/
im so sorry to hear that bednobs, i dont know what to say really, only that my thoughts and prayers are with you. You can definatley have your baby blessed and the hospital can arrange this for you when the time sadly comes, the hospital will also give you little momentos of your child if requested such as hand and footprints etc
As woofgang says above this is absolutley nothing that you couldve done and you have not let anyone down, we have no control over natures way.
As woofgang says above this is absolutley nothing that you couldve done and you have not let anyone down, we have no control over natures way.
bednobs, Im really not sure what to say here. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, i cant begin to imagine how you are feeling at this time.
Im not sure if your consultant has given you the choice of delivery now and tryin everything they can for your baby. Usually the point where a pregnancy is "viable" is 26 weeks though as baby is smaller i am not sure how they would go about making such a decision.
If baby cannot be helped and does not survive then i am pretty certain that yes he/she can have a burial at such a late gestation, plus be christened. perhaps you could talk to the vicar at the chapel in the hospital or your local vicar.
If your journey with your baby does end here then can i suggest that maybe you talk to the ladies over on here when you feel up to it. http://messageboards....co.uk/iv-ukpblateloss Im sure they will have been throught every emotion that you are going through and will be supportive.
my heart goes out to you bednobs, i wish you all the best x
Im not sure if your consultant has given you the choice of delivery now and tryin everything they can for your baby. Usually the point where a pregnancy is "viable" is 26 weeks though as baby is smaller i am not sure how they would go about making such a decision.
If baby cannot be helped and does not survive then i am pretty certain that yes he/she can have a burial at such a late gestation, plus be christened. perhaps you could talk to the vicar at the chapel in the hospital or your local vicar.
If your journey with your baby does end here then can i suggest that maybe you talk to the ladies over on here when you feel up to it. http://messageboards....co.uk/iv-ukpblateloss Im sure they will have been throught every emotion that you are going through and will be supportive.
my heart goes out to you bednobs, i wish you all the best x
Bednobs....I don't want to give you false hope but when I was pregnant with my daughter they told me she wasn't growing. I was about as far along as you. I went for a scan once a week....monitored once a week...and had to fill in a daily kick chart. Each week they told me she hadn't grown...They measured her at each scan. Her skull, her spine...
She was 7lb 14oz...
When I was pregnant with my second...went for a check up and they said the same. I told them to keep hushed as they were wrong the first time. It was logged in my notes and never mentioned again....I had a 6lb 12oz baby boy.
On another note....I'm 37 and I'm contemplating trying for another baby. You're not too old.
I really pray that it works out...don't give up hope just yet as they are often wrong.
xxx
She was 7lb 14oz...
When I was pregnant with my second...went for a check up and they said the same. I told them to keep hushed as they were wrong the first time. It was logged in my notes and never mentioned again....I had a 6lb 12oz baby boy.
On another note....I'm 37 and I'm contemplating trying for another baby. You're not too old.
I really pray that it works out...don't give up hope just yet as they are often wrong.
xxx
bednobs, I am so sorry to hear about this.
I've had a miscarriage, two missed abortions (where the baby dies in utero but doesn't miscarry) and a full term stillbirth, so I really do feel for you as I know what it is like to be in such a dark place.
My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetheart. xx
I've had a miscarriage, two missed abortions (where the baby dies in utero but doesn't miscarry) and a full term stillbirth, so I really do feel for you as I know what it is like to be in such a dark place.
My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetheart. xx
Bednobs, I am so sorry for your predicament, I really feel for you to the best I can. If there is any hope then we will pray for your unborn baby - we can pray for miracles for you (and ummm's story shows it can happen). Please please know we are here from you if you want to share - this happened to a work colleague but I cannot imagine myself how it feel. Please don't blame yourself - it will not be due to any deficiency in you, these things sadly happen due to natural events - you have nurtured your tiny one to the best you can, you have not let anyone down. You are by no means too old to conceive again - my mum of 47 when she had my brother, and you will be looked after. But until we get that far, we are hoping so much that this baby hangs on in there..... we are with you bednobs, let us know how you go on. ♥
im lost for words xxx
i dont really know what to sayxx
no words can ever be enough to express my deepest sympathies to you xx
i will be thinking of you xx
not the same but when i misscarried several years ago i contacted
"the misscarrige assosoiation" very supportive they deal with misscarriges termination and still birth issues you can always look them upxx
i wish you all the best in your tough time ahead xx
i dont really know what to sayxx
no words can ever be enough to express my deepest sympathies to you xx
i will be thinking of you xx
not the same but when i misscarried several years ago i contacted
"the misscarrige assosoiation" very supportive they deal with misscarriges termination and still birth issues you can always look them upxx
i wish you all the best in your tough time ahead xx
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