And There's More

[Rondy]

I asked my grandma how she was enjoying her new stair lift. she said it was driving her up the wall.

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I'm playing cricket against my local fish & chip shop later. Their fielders and bowlers aren't that good, but their batter is superb.

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My mother says she never holds grudges but then will blindside you with something that happened years ago.
Last week she said, "You know, you really hurt me on your birthday."
And I was like, "Which birthday was that?"
So she replied, "The first one. You had a really big head, you know."

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A young bride tells her friend, “Paul keeps telling everyone he’s going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.”
The friend replies, “What a shame, and after all the time you’ve been engaged too him too."

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My computer froze last night. I think I left too many windows open.

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We had a big BBQ yesterday, half the street were there, my sexy Chinese neighbour said she needed a good Roger, so I followed her into the bathroom and dropped my trousers, she started screaming and going all weird... turns out she wants to rent a room to someone....

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I’ll never forget the day I told my father I wanted to be a soldier. He turned me upside down and dipped me head first into a boiled egg.

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It's not my fault I have a double chin. When God said he was giving out chins, I thought he said chins. So I said I'll have a double.

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[FoxLee2]

Your last one doesn't make sense. Surely it would be something like - 'I thought he said gins'...

[Patsy33]

😆😅