Ex Wife A Terrible Parent

[pumpjack]

ex wife from thailand, my daughter is 10 now, since 4 yrs now my young sister and her partner have been bringing her up, they give her everything , holidays, good schooling etc etc , i pay a standing order per 4 weekly to my kid sister for taking care of my kid which i appreciate greatly,
sister is in a long term relationship with a girl, they have been together 16 years and are secure and both have very good jobs in government depts etc.
anyway, ive allways had problems with my daughters mum, we split around 6 yrs ago, she has a vile temper, she has no parental qualities whatsoever, she never took my kid anywhere whilst it was only me taking her to sunday schools, clubs , cinema, beach etc etc
social services where involved as i could not accept working away and my child being neglected, her mum let her out on street at 9pm at night , my kid was only around 4 year old for god sake.
my wife was allways just leaving her with neigbours and went off somewhere, the child never seen her mum at all. mum was allways working at thai restaurant long hours, i knew the neighbours didnt want to say no as they felt sorry for my kid. only this week i called my kid, asked her when she last seen mum or heard from mum, she said around 3 weeks ago, what kind of a *** would do that to her own beautifull little girl.
so, i have a question, i am extremely worried what way this will affect my kid when she is older ? will she start having relationships younger, try to get pregnat , run away from home, get into drugs, im worried to hell about this even though my sis is giving her a great life.
BTW my sister and her partner allways wanted my daughter even since she was a baby as they knew then that mum couldnt take good care plus they obviously were desperate to mother a child as they are lesbian couple so they are very happy to be bringing her up as their own anyway.
would like to hear from anyone in similar situation

[pixie374]

I'm not in a similar situation... but it sounds as though your daughter is very loved and well looked after, which is just what she needs. You can't change the behaviour of you ex-wife- and tbh- I am always very wary of people's views of their exes. It tends to be the one side, but just do your best, as I'm sure you are. There is no reason to believe she will go off the rails because one parent is inattentive.

[ummmm]

And what are you doing?

[Calicogirl]

What did social Services have to say?
I doubt your daughter will go off the rails if she is being brought up in a loving stable home, but don't bad mouth your ex wife in front of her, that might cause trouble.

[ummmm]

It will cause trouble if you do.

[pixie374]

It will... and just make contact between the two as easy as possible. Whether it is letters, phone calls, visits or online. Encourage it.

[ummmm]

I used to live with my grandparents. My granddad was an angry man and used to shout and swear but he was also really nice.

If you'd heard the stories of his upbringing you'd understand it. So I understood it. He was angry at his upbringing, angry at his war injury and living in pain every single day.

That's life.

[pumpjack]

UMMM " And what are you doing? "
as explained, provide for her, take her out, take her to brownies club, take her to beaches and walks .

my job requires me to work away mostly.
cant you read ?

[ummmm]

I can read but you're not there for her. I look after my kids!!!

[fiction-factory]

Just realised who you are (were), pumpjack.
I assume your job overseas is really important to you and therefore if you or the mother can't play a big part in their upbringing i think you can take comfort from the fact that your sister and partner are providing love, care and guidance for the child

[pixie374]

To be fair if you have put your job first, you aren't really in a position to criticise. What does your daughter want?

[pixie374]

Is this dieseldick?

[ummmm]

Yep, Pixie

[pixie374]

Ah thanks x

[bednobs]

of course (plus beezaneez et al)

[fiction-factory]

Yes, I only realised this when i read the thread- I'm not sure why I didn't spot the similarity in names earlier

[bednobs]

i mean in all honesty from the things you say, you are hardly a model parent either, so you cant critisize (well you can but its all rather hypocritical)

[pixie374]

I never can work it out, but the bitterness helped!

[DarceyK123]

Sounds like your daughter has the best upbringing available to her, two loving people bring up while you are working abroad and her Mother is not considered the best.

As long as shes happy she will be fine.

[Jackdaw33]

I thought the style looked familiar but it was the Thai wife that gave the game away as I remember him mentioning this under his previous ID.

[ummmm]

He sounds like a crap father.