John Hogan

[sue11]

What do you all feel about this guy? For those who have not been following the news, he is the one tried to kill himself and his kids by jumping off the balcony of his holiday hotel with his kids in his arms. He has killed his son but he and his daughter survived the fall. Whilst I think that the act of committing suicide and trying to take your innocent kids who have every right to live their lives, is the ultimate in selfishness and truly evil to do this to their wife/husband/partner, I still cannot help but feel some compassion for him. He now wants to kill himself as he hates himself so much for what he has done. He is now facing a murder charge, unless he manages to kill himself first. What a sad, sad story. And how do some people seemingly suffer such depression that they see this as the only way out? It seems that his side of the family had major depression problems as (I believe) two of his brothers also committed suicide. What brings people to want to do this? I want to really hate this man for what he has done to his wife who now has to try to pull her life back together and of course for his and her family who will be suffering, BUT I do feel sorry for him. By the way it has been reported that his wife still has love for him and is supporting him in a manner. Does anyone else agree or disagree with my thoughts. By the way, can we please have a reasoned discussion in your responses to this? I have been reading a few threads that people who disagree with the poster, are letting their anger colour their responses and it destroys any proper debate as the arguement that follows get in the way of the original question! I am interested to hear your thoughts on this one!

[B00]

Not only is suicide selfish, but to willingly kill your children because YOU don't want to live is an act of pure wickedness.

I don't really know the full story, but from what you've described I fail to see how his wife could stand by him on this.

If Mr Boo did this to my child, he wouldn't need to contemplate a 2nd suicide attempt, I'd do it for him.

[missjef]

in my opinion i dont feel sorry for him at all, i think that if you want to kill yourself then you do that without taking your poor innocent children with you. They had their whole lives ahead of them and because he was depressed he decided to take them with him, there is no fairness in that. It was an extremely selfish thing to do.
what would have been the point in killing his children too?
i just feel like it was an absolutely wicked thing to have done, and to kill your own child and attempt to kill another one aswell, how could you?
(sorry if that was all a bit strong but those are my thoughts)

[laurence2]

Hello sue, only really read about it today, i appreciate that he was suffering from depression, but to take his innocent kids with him when he wanted to end his own life is utterly EVIL.
What say did the kids have in it {none} i appreciate the man needed help but i,m sorry i won't feel sad if his wish is granted {successful suicide} in this case.

Ps, Also people who commit suicide are very selfish, they NEVER EVER thonk of the people they leave behind or the people who have to deal with the suicides etc, as a train driver i know of MANY cases where people have JUMPED in front of trains, and i know many train drivers who have NEVER driving again because of this

[sue11]

Hi Boo, I completely agree it is total wickness and the ultimate act of misplaced revenge for someone to do this. I don't think his wife is actually standing by him, but she is obviously shell shocked and it must be difficult to turn off your love for someone as if it were a tap. But I suspect that love will turn to hate soon enough once it all sinks in.
For me, I hope my feeling sorry for him is not viewed as misplaced by other posters, but I am just trying to put myself in his wife's shoes if my partner who I love very much did this to me. I don't have kis by the way! So perhaps I am not in the best place to judge this, but I am trying! Many thanks for your response. Sue

[Cobra2]

Why could he not just kill himself..Why did he have to try and take his kids with him.

Jail him for life

[Amara]

I feel very saddened by this story and have a great deal of compassion for all involved. I do not think this person is evil, just a desperate and very troubled soul. I hope he finds peace, but I believe he will still have to account for his actions.

[B00]

Yeah I can see why'd feel sorry for the guy sue, no-one will condemn you for feeling this way at all. It's just the willfull killing of your children is too difficult to swallow.

his poor wife must be devastated, however even if she forgives him, how on earth could she ever let this man be anywhere with his daughter afterwards?

[sue11]

Hi all, normally I am someone who is not overly compassionate about other people so I think I have surprised myself with my feelings and I am wondering where my pity for him is coming from in this case. I suppose reading about his family life because of course at one point he was one of the people who had to pull his life back together after his brother(s) had killed himself. But then you could say that it makes it even worse that he could do this to his own family.
I completely agree with all your thoughts about people who commit suicide as it is the poor people that they leave behind as well as the others who have to deal with it that suffer.

[mnko]

im someone who has contemplated suicide within the last week. but during that time could i have ever thought of killing my children. my wife and my children are my life. i asked for advise and got it from alot of ABers and i thank them with all my heart, they helped me alot. i'm here now thinking of what a selfish bstard i would have been if i had of done IT. i'm living life 1 day at a time and i know there are people on here(they know who they are) i can turn to if ever im feeling down. His son was innocent and he payed with his life. this man needs to be left alone with his thoughts in a padded cell.FOREVER

[enigma]

When I gave birth to my three children , I promised each time to love them with all my heart , to take care of them until my dying day and to protect them from the evil in life to the best of my ability. To think of a parent commiting such a wicked act like this is just incomprehensible. I have no sympathy for this man whatsoever and I hope he rots in hell for what he did to his poor little boy. To decide to take your own life is bad enough but to end another's life - let alone the life of your own child and especially so young , is utterly heartbreaking. I can not believe that his wife is standing by him - that just beggars belief and goes against the so called 'maternal instinct'. I'm sorry , I feel that I have a very strong marriage but I know in my heart of hearts that I could never forgive my hubby for an atrocity like that and I would do time because I would kill him.

Personally , I can't see their marriage surviving this - how could it possibly ? His wife must still be in shock and will undoubtedly be experiencing a mix of emotions but after the reality really kicks in , I think that this will most probably put cracks in their marriage. I'd be very surprised if it didn't. It is not natural for a parent to outlive their child and when tragedy strikes , I can't even imagine -and hope I never have to find out - what kind of pain that brings but for a child to die at the hands of their own parent is trully awful. Poor wee soul may he rest in peace.

[sue11]

Hi all, many thanks for your responses so far! I just wanted to say that my last post I stated that I normally am not very compassionate. That is not exactly true as I am, but I am someone who tries very hard to be as fair as possible and see and hear both sides of the story before making a judgement and that can come across sometimes as uncaring!

[whiffey]

mnko - you really think this man needs to be locked up in a padded cell FOREVER ?

You brutal judge. It wasn't so long ago that you were bleeding heart all over here, remember ?

If anyone has ever experienced true Clinical Depression they might be less forthcoming with judgement. This man has done a terrible thing, and law and society will deal with it, hard though it is to deal with a broken soul.

Let's hope the right people are in on that solution.

[joko]

he wasn't suffering from depression at all - he jumped because he was drunk and in a mood and did this for spite to teach his wife a lesson for wanting to leave him.

he was upset that his wide had just announced she wanted a divorce.

this was a suicide bid made out of spite, not out of depression and wanting to end it all.

it was a rash, spur of the moment thing that he didn't think through, he just acted, in his drunken rage

he is a selfish, self absorbed, self centered, overdramatic, spoilt, arrogant, and also incredibly stupid, man.

i am not surprised he wants to kill himself - he will likely have a life of misery -not only his own guilt but everyone else who knows what he has done will likely shun him

he deserves no sympathy

[sue11]

As I said I don't have kids so how could I possibly even try to imagine the grief that a mother or father would feel? It obviously would overwhelm the love that she feels if any for her husband. I am trying hard to feel this, but as I have a strong relationship with my partner, it is very difficult to put myself in others shoes!
Further to the story, I understand they were going through a marriage crisis and were on the verge of splitting and the holiday was supposed to be a last ditch attempt to pull it all back together, which makes it all the more tragic. But if the newspaper has got it right, she is still supporting him although not necessarily standing by him, as you said the major feelings will kick in once the numbness wears off.

[sue11]

More food for thought Joke, but also the papers have stated that his wife is now claiming that he was not drunk at the time, she was stood behind him apparently whilst he did it. However taking your kids life is an awful awful selfish act of revenge and difficult to try to understand, but I am still trying!!

[sue11]

Sorry Joko, got your name wrong in the last post!

[mnko]

whiffey what do u know about me? u dont only what i have revealed on here. i suffer from servere depression and have done for 12 years . im not going to get in an arguement over this u keep ur opinions about me 2 urself please.

[whiffey]

mnko, if you post forcefully expressed opinions on a public forum, you must expect a response - of any nature, welcome to you or otherwise.

[sue11]

Hi Whiffey, keeping strong feelings out of this, it is interesting that Mkno has expressed this as he you would have felt that having been in that position, he would have had a huge amount of compassion. Sorry to talk about you Mkno, I am presuming and guessing that the hell that you went through and the realisation of what you put your family through has made you feel this way about this guy, more food for thought!