Old I Know..............
Bloke comes out of a pub at closing time, and notices a police car parked outside. He walks up to his car, and drops his keys three times, before finally finding the key hole. He jumps in, and takes five minutes getting the key into the ignition. He starts the car up and revs the engine to the max before kangaroo-ing across the car park, stopping an inch short of reversing into the pub.
Cops have seen enough and breathalyze him. They look at the reading on the machine, which shows him to be as sober as the day he was born. "Unbelievable", says the cop "How on earth did you pass the breath test?"
"Easy", says the man, "I'm tonight's designated decoy".