Don't you just love those Irish jokes.

[wildwood]

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor.
Mick says, "Jesus Paddy, what ya doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different.
3 years ago I went to ****Spain**** and Mary got pregnant.
2 years ago I went to ****Italy**** and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to **Majorca** and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?. Paddy replies, - I'll fukin take her with me!

Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"****
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just fooking wet mine."

[MarkRae]

Not much...

[Caribeing]

The Irish jokes are brilliant Irish can laugh at themselves without all the that political correctness, Irish very clever do well on all the quiz shows.

[TWR]

The Irish, Humorous, Lovely, Happy, helpfull, full off fun, do not take offence if said in the right way, & who could do that? I love them.

[jno]

I always turn the Irishmen into Englishmen first to see if the jokes are really funny. Remarkably, they often aren't.

Joshua says to Oliver, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Oliver says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

[wildwood]

I agree Mary T and TWR, the best Irish jokes are told by the Irish themselves!

[DTCwordfan]

Jesus wan't born in England, Scotland, Wales, Jersey, Guernsey, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, Sark, Alderney or even the Isle of Man.

They couldn't find a virgin or three wise men....

[MarkRae]

Well said, jno. I wonder if anyone really has ever met a thick Irishman? I certainly haven't...

[New Judge]

The problem is, TWR, that it isn't the great attitude that most Irish people adopt towards this light hearted fun. Along with people of many nations they can laugh at such jokes and bide their time to give as good as they get when the opportunity arises.

No, the problem lies with the po-faced professional offence-taker who take offence on behalf of those who don't themselves and try to stifle the cut and thrust of popular indelicacy.

[Kassee]

No - I don't love Irish jokes - aren't they a bit dated these days ! Probably racist too ! All based on the Irish as a nation being stupid - which of course they aren't. So they are quite insulting.

[New Judge]

I rest my case.

[Kassee]

And I'm not a po-faced professional offence taker !

[MarkRae]

Yeah, everybody knows that the Irish are stupid, the Scots are miserly / alcoholic / violent (delete as appropriate), the French don't wash, the Welsh...well, who cares about the Welsh, right?

[DTCwordfan]

Where or what is Wales?

[Kassee]

And men are wasters !

[ummmm]

I chuckled. I am a thick Paddy though :-)

[DTCwordfan]

and to borrow off many of the above comments, the Irish take the pizz out of the Kerry folk. Now who they use, I do not know.....but they do have a rich appreciation of themselves, sadly missing over here sometimes.

[shoota]

You should hear the Irish telling English jokes..........then you'd know what it is like to be an opressed majority.

[marval]

I liked them

[starone]

I liked them too, although I have heard them all before.

[vulcan]

Q: Why are Irish jokes so simplistic?
A: So Englishmen can understand them.