Crosswords7 mins ago
Brothel time again
A guy goes to his local brothel and says to the madame, "I only have £2 to my name and I'm really sorry, but is there anything you do for me, anything at all"?
"Don't be stupid" says the madame, "you can't get anything for £2. Go and buy yourself a magazine or something and stop wasting my valuable time".
"Please" begged the man, "I'm just out of jail and I haven't had sex for nearly eight years. You must be able to do something for me. I'm absolutely desperate and even hand relief would do. I just want to feel the touch of a woman again as my eight years inside were very hard indeed"
"Sorry", replied the madame, "but for £2 I would even open a button for you; off you go".
The man begins to trudge off with a tear in his eye and a forlorn look on his face when the madame, feeling an unusual compassion for the poor soul, calls him back.
"Right" she said, "You can go up to room 44 on three conditions. you must keep the lights off at all times, you must not speak to the girl under any circumstances, and you must wear this coloured condom that I am about to give you. Do you accept these conditions".
The mans eyes light up and, after eight years, he will agree to almost anything if he is to make love to a woman once more. "Okay" he says, and heads off with condom in hand and a smile on both sides of his face.
He emerges about 40 minutes later, absolutely drenched in sweat and utterly exhausted, but he seeks the madame out before he leaves so that he can express his gratitude at this unexpected act of human kindness.
"That was great. Thank you very much for that because you didn't have to be so generous, but I have one question. Why did I have to wear that black condom?"
"Good God" exclaimed the madame, "have you no respect for the dead?"
"Don't be stupid" says the madame, "you can't get anything for £2. Go and buy yourself a magazine or something and stop wasting my valuable time".
"Please" begged the man, "I'm just out of jail and I haven't had sex for nearly eight years. You must be able to do something for me. I'm absolutely desperate and even hand relief would do. I just want to feel the touch of a woman again as my eight years inside were very hard indeed"
"Sorry", replied the madame, "but for £2 I would even open a button for you; off you go".
The man begins to trudge off with a tear in his eye and a forlorn look on his face when the madame, feeling an unusual compassion for the poor soul, calls him back.
"Right" she said, "You can go up to room 44 on three conditions. you must keep the lights off at all times, you must not speak to the girl under any circumstances, and you must wear this coloured condom that I am about to give you. Do you accept these conditions".
The mans eyes light up and, after eight years, he will agree to almost anything if he is to make love to a woman once more. "Okay" he says, and heads off with condom in hand and a smile on both sides of his face.
He emerges about 40 minutes later, absolutely drenched in sweat and utterly exhausted, but he seeks the madame out before he leaves so that he can express his gratitude at this unexpected act of human kindness.
"That was great. Thank you very much for that because you didn't have to be so generous, but I have one question. Why did I have to wear that black condom?"
"Good God" exclaimed the madame, "have you no respect for the dead?"
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