I Was An Atm Yesterday

[paulllambert]

and an old lady asked me to check her balance....so I pushed her over.

I saw a poor old lady slip over in the snow....at least I think she was poor, she only had £1.20 in her purse.

Mick tells Paddy that he's thinking of buying a dog. "Don't buy a Labrador", says Paddy "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

The wife has been gone for over a week. The police have told me to expect the worst, so I went to the charity shop and bought her old clothes back.

A muslim has driven a speedboat into the Thames Barrier. Police think it may be the start of Ramadam.

I heard two blokes saying they wouldn't get on a plane if they knew athe pilot was a woman.....idiots, it's not as if she's ever going to have to reverse it.

Police tracking the "knitting needle killer", someone who has stabbed six people with knitting needles, think he may be following some kind of pattern.

Bought some Rocket salad yesterday....it went off before I could eat it.

Just got back from a mate's funeral. He died after being struck on the temple by a fast-moving tennis ball......it was a lovely service.

[Baldric]

Ramadam got me chuckling!
;-)

[Svejk]

Some good ones there. ;)

[marval]

lol