Me, With More.

[Rondy]

A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with my classmate. He called me a sissy." The mother asked, "What did you do?" The boy replied, "I hit him with my purse!"

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The wife passed her driving test yesterday.
I told he I would buy her something cheap to run around in if she passed.
Well she did pass, so I bought her a pair of trainers from Aldi.

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My doctor told me that I need to do something that keeps me out of the pub, so I've started smoking.

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I wish France could go back to its former currency, to be franc.

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My dad use to be a marathon runner and my mum was a 100 meters sprinter, it's hard growing up with mixed race parents.

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WIFE: "I need £10,000 to have a gastric band fitted."
ME: "Here's a fiver. Buy a padlock for the fridge."

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I was a bookkeeper for 10 years.
Local librarians weren't too happy about it.

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A blonde just text me and asked, "what does Idk stand for??" I text her back "I don't know" she said "OMG nobody does!!"

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I was in the pub with my girlfriend last night, when she said, " Can i ask you a question? "
" Sure, babe, " i replied, stroking her hair, " what is it? "
She said, " why are you with me? "
I said, " Because i love you. "
She said, " I know, but this is the ladies toilets and i'm trying to use the Loo."

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Local police hunting the " knitting needle nutter ", who has stabbed six people in arms in the last 48 hours.
They believe that the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

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[Ken4155]

Love the 'blonde' joke, keep 'em coming Rondy. 😊

[Patsy33]

😄