Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening and welcome to Nungate Towers, after a busy (and for some painful) week, time for all Mad Over Fifties to come on down, take off their corsets and relax! Igor is by the entrance eagerly anticipating the arrival of our guests in order for him to stash away their outer garments and broom sticks for concealment around the Towers (who knows if they will ever be seen again!)
Tonight's Tailcock is the "Monsoon" well named and under current weather conditions here at the Towers, most appropriate.
As a result of the inclement weather we have decided to cancel all of our outdoors events this evening, sadly there will be no racing on the race track, or bonfires on the beach, guests may wish to wander around the grounds if they so desire just be sure to take an umbrella from stand by the main entrance.......
Of course the indoor pool is available for members, who may borrow swimwear if they have not brought their own, (members ought to remember that indoor pool does not approve of skinny dipping), as it is under cover, the hot tub is bubbling away nicely on the North Tower and his little friend the mini bar has been restocked and is awaiting his first visitors. The bungee is also ready for use just be careful not to bounce too close to the moat, the piranhas haven't been fed yet today (it's on Igor's list of things to do).
Our hot plate special tonight is meatballs in red wine sauce, (a house speciality) served on a bed of steaming pasta! We also have a delicious selection of volly vonts, horses doovers and canopies. On the pudding trolley we have an orange chocolate mousse, and of course, whipped cream!
In view of the nasty weather we have decided to open up our home cinema, tonight we will be showing that film classic The Maltese Falcon, and a short programme of Bugs Bunny cartoons (Nungate's favourite movie actor)
Club members who wish to dance are invited to the Ballroom to throw some shapes to the music of our favourite local band the Tone Deafs. I am delighted to announce that I have finally managed to keep those Minstrels out of the Gallery and out of the Towers, so members will not be subjected to their tired old madrigals and toccattas! Members are also invited to make full use of all the facilities here at the Towers, we have a well stocked library, which has all the latest magazines and periodicals, from Knitting for
Nuclear Physicist to Quantum Mechanics for the Home Cook! Our fully equipped gym is suffering from a lack of use and our fitness trainer has been terribly depressed from having no one but our chef Scoff to put through his paces (sadly Scoff is still the same size and weight....) All of this and more awaits members, so come on in and join the fun!

For the rofl tonight I offer:
4 fence posts,
a load of old fencing
half a dozen plastic plant pots

A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals

carriages at midnight

[DaisyNonna]

Evening nungate. What a change in the weather flying North. We were supposed to have thunderstorms and rain all day but it has been lovely.
Even managed an hour reading in the garden between 6 and 7. Minimal weeding.
For the rifle I have one thermometer which tells lies, a four prong baked potato holder, slightly knackered and I never cook more than one.
Ginormous elastic band dropped by the postie and a tartan picnic blanket with waterproof backing, unfortunately, excellent condition.

[nungate]

Good evening, you have been fortunate indeed! The weather here started very promising then rapidly deteriorated! Been bucketing down since just after lunch - no fun at all! I hope you are well. Tony will not be joining us tonight owing to a prior engagement. Igor is still experiencing computer problems and may pop in and out or even appear on my machine
Can I have him bring your usual bucket?

[Igor61]

Good evening Madame Daisy, I have a bucket for you, I hope you did not get too wet flying in this rain

[DaisyNonna]

Please nungate. Yes Tony did mention it. Hope the weather in N.D. is as Sussex. Trust Indie will not miss him too much. He needs regular exercise.

[DaisyNonna]

Oh Igor! You are in the right place. That bucket smells delicious. Thanks.

[DaisyNonna]

Indie, that is. What would Tony say if he thought I meant him?

[nungate]

I think Tony would have a bit of a laugh at that one Daisy

[Igor61]

I am happy to oblige Madame Daisy

[DTCwordfan]

Good evening to all yonder and those who are sundry.

Back from the nether and outer wastelands known as the bum of England aka Nofeck. Sleep is nearly , restored, copious quantities of French vino, bubbly and Scottish product from near my old golf club, reference the 12 men, consumed or conshoomed.

Now what's in the riffle?

* One empty bottle of malt (x brand), maybe 1/2 a wee dram left
* One vicar's robe (torn)
* One Rolls angel minus wings
* One bag of rotting rose petal confetti (good for composh)
* One phrenologists head
* One copy of a Latin grace, one copy each reserved for naomi and bernie
* One paper dart of a racecard aka an Order of Service
* 300 empty wine bottles
* One wood picture frame
* One statue head and a bust
* One tyre
* One pair of German black shoes
* Two cigar butts, Romeo Y Julietta
* The Sofeck Monotones, a wonderfully 'diverse' band
* One Lotto ticket, no numbers.
* Half a toilet roll.
* One veil.

[nungate]

Evening DT, you seem to be well refreshed after your trip to Norfolk ......
must tell Queenie there's a veil available, who knows? We might need one one of these days ...... bucket?

[DaisyNonna]

Hi DT
Have enough problems with the head and bust I have. Veil might be useful though.
Have you rehydrated yet?

[Igor61]

good evening DT, sir, I have brought your bucket, and a side order of a pail of water (just in case, rehydration and all that)

[DTCwordfan]

Tony never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The goats' toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!

He's very clean and tidy
Though he may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they'll have moved!

Daisy romances him and dines him
M&S cooked dinners and the like
She even knows his favourite food
And spoils him day and night!

She's thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will Aston Villa be that good in 50 years
When the Clarets aren't in Premier place?!

He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her football IQ?

She says she loves his AB kindness
And his patience with Queenie is a must
And of course she thinks his car is handsome
Which in her eyes may not or maybe a plus!

They're both not wholly perfect
But who are we MoFCers to judge
He can be goat-headed
Where as she won't even budge! (except on the dance-floor)

All that said and done
They love the time they spend together
And I hope as I'm sure you do
That this fine football team will last forever.

He'll be more than just her football fan
He'll also be her friend
And she'll be more than just his confidante
She'll be his only Villa mate 'till the end.

[DTCwordfan]

where is the old codger?

Thanks for the tailcock bucket, Ivor....water not needed,, piranhas mate in it.

[DaisyNonna]

I would of course put Queenie's need before my own. Just thought it would make a good soft cheese strainer.

[nungate]

That is so nice DT, and ode to Daisy and Tony!

[DaisyNonna]

DT! runs away to hide in the gym

[Igor61]

Tony is attending a family event this evening I've been informed. DT, sir, the water for the Towers comes from our own well and is very pure, rest assured that no piranhas have ever ....ahem ... mated in our drinking water (or the water that serves the many bathrooms here in the Towers)

[nungate]

^^wot he said^^

[DTCwordfan]

Yes, I do remember receiving a missive about that, some distant relative in thundery Dorrrset. They claim to have a pastie there; how can you have a pastie made with mince? That's as bad as a Gregg's....

It's okay, Daisy, you can come back in now......

Where's that bernie-cuddles?