Hi there, I was very to sad to read your story. It really depends on your age as to how you can get advice. Firstly, usually your parents are the people to speak to. Have you tried to speak to them,as I am sure they would be very upset to learn of your distress. I am a mum and I hope my children would come to me first so that they could tell me how they are feeling. I would let them know how precious they are and give them a loving cuddle and listen to what is troubling them. Please try to let them know how you feel. If you feel that you are unable to do this, at least try. Or have you any brothers or sisters who can help Otherwise there would always be someone to help and listen to you at your school and they would know how to give you support. We all sometimes have experienced some kind of strange feelings which we cannot explain and it depends whether you are male or female as this makes a lot of difference to what you are going through and how you are feeling. Please do not think that the world would be a better place without you. Remember your parents / grandparents, brothers or sisters love you very much and would want to help you. I hope are able to talk to someone soon. Best wishes.