My Wife And I Dont Really Enjoy Babysitting The Grandchildren For Any Length Of Time.

[dave50]

Are we bad people? We do it out of a sense of duty more than anything. Nobody knows how we feel and we never ever give that impression in front of the children. Does anyone else in that position feel the same way? We feel we have done our bit bringing the children up now its our turn to enjoy ourselves when we want and not have to work around this. We always said we would not get into a set baby sitting routine but we have been manipulated into it with the usual guilt trip. The fact we are still working and not yet retired makes it worse. Thoughts please.

[ummmm]

You have to explain as nicely as possible.

How often are you expected to babysit?

[Samuraisan]

How often do they expect you to babysit ? It should be a pleasure not a duty.

[Sqad]

I have never, NEVER babysitted the grandchildren and I have never lost any sleep in worrying about it....and that goes for Mrs sqad.
The kids have had a family and they should look after the grandchildren and provide for them, as i provided for my children.
This will not be a popular post on AB.

[Jordyboy9]

Yes you are right you have done your bit ,let them get on with it ,like some who have a child and want there freedom to roam,don’t let them manipulate you.

[jno]

you'll need to learn to say No. Give excuses if necessary ("It's my darts night", "We'll be in the Bahamas", "Your mother has got a weak heart") and try to make them true - that is, pre-arrange your social life when you can so you're fairly busy. But try not to get angry over it. If your kids don't choose your care home, your grandchildren will.

[hereIam]

I don't think you are bad people at all and I agree that you have done your bit by bringing your own kids up and you are still working as well ! I used to work with a girl who when she had her baby, her Mum told her not to expect her to do any babysitting as she's done with all that after bringing up her own kids. The girl agreed with her Mum and didn't take any offence at all. Maybe time for a chat with your children ?

[Mamyalynne]

You have to be honest with your children and give them a chance to employ someone to do it.

Personally I loved the role of babysitting mine.

[maggiebee]

No you are not bad people. You brought up your family and now it is their turn. I do babysit very occasionally but enjoy my freedom to come and go and I please. Maybe you need to have a quiet word?

[Cloverjo]

Nothing wrong with that, Dave. Especially as you’re still working. Just come out and say you find looking after the grandkids rather tiring.
Your children might get into a bit of a huff, but it’s your time.

[Jordyboy9]

You daughters not on answerbank is she?
Pity if she isn’t,if she is she could read our posts and solve your problem.

[ichkeria]

I look forward to being able to babysit any grandchildren we may have in future.
I guess we just dont have a life ;-)

[Patsy33]

Difficult for you. Try and be honest with them. Tell them you're feeling the strain, being very tired from work. As much as you love them, you need some more time for yourselves. Good luck..

[LadyCG]

If you're still working it's unfair of them to manipulate you into babysitting and you need to be more assertive.

Everybody's different. My parents and my in-laws fall over themselves to have their grandson, especially for stopovers but he's a lone child and exceptionally independent and well behaved ... not to mention dreadfully cute ❤

However, grandparenting is not everyone's cup of tea and there comes a certain age where kids are hard work and you won't always have the energy for it.

[ummmm]

Sqad - I only find that strange as you were brought up by your grandparents.

[Calicogirl]

I'd tell them that you're going to start going out more to enjoy yourselves so they'll have to rely on you less for babysitting, and although you enjoy your grandchildren you do find it very tiring and would like a bit of life yourselves- then taper it off if they don't catch the hint. x

[NellieMay]

Sqad, your post is very popular with me. My son and wife don't appear to want children, but no way would they expect us to babysit except in an emergency. 'Expect' being the key word. I didn't expect my mother or my mother in law to babysit at all. Besides, I have no interest in looking after children. However, we happily look after their dog!

[NellieMay]

I suppose it depends on the family. I have friends whose lives revolve about their grandchildren and now their great- grandchildren and are really involved with their upbringing.

[Sqad]

ummmm...I don't understand your post.
Firstly......I was never babysitted.......as far as i can remember and secondly, I thought that they were my biological mother and father until i was 15 years of age and then i was told.

I am not sure that it has biased my opinion against babysitting..............has it?

[Bobbisox1]

Sqad you're refreshingly honest, I like that

[Sqad]

nellie.....yes, we have friends who have "thrown themselves" into gran parenting to the exclusion of everything else in their lives, including their friends.All they can talk about is their grandchildren which in all honesty gets a bit boring after a time.

Horses for courses i suppose.