A Few More

[Rondy]

A couple who drove their car to ALDI, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis.
Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward and quickly put her hand up his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by watching.
The R.A.C. mechanic however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

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A couple who work at the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produces photos of their 50 foot motor-home, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get."We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in pediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"

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My wife wanted a green jumper for her birthday.
So I bought her a frog.

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Earlier, I tried on my wife's wrap-round beach skirt.
It felt so right but yet sarong.

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Today I have been officially sober for one hundred days.
Sadly though, I’ve been drunk as a skunk every night.

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Never borrow money from an optimist, they always expect it back.

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