how to stop loving someone

[Vivacia]

I have been in love with the someone for nearly 10 years. We were together for a while when we were teenagers but both ended up having other relationships over the years. eventually i ended up getting engaged to someone else, but around this time i saw him again at a party (my fiancee was not present) and he ended up telling me that he had been in love with me for all these years, i said i felt the same but nothing happened because i was in a relationship and he also said that he wasnt ready to settle down at that point. I ended up finishing with the fiancee sfter a few months but in that time he had got himself a girlfriend. He has now been with her for roughly five years (and in this time i had a long relationship with one of his friends). from mutual friends i have heard that they argue alot and have split up and got back together about 4 times (they split up for weeks at a time) but now she has fallen pregnant. I really believe he is my soulmate and have always believed that one day we would settle down together but now it seems unlikely. i want and miss him so much it aches. but if i cant be with him then i just want to get over him, does anyone think it is possible to stop loving and missing your soulmate?

[girlygirl]

No

:o(

It's crap isn't it?

[mazie]

I dont think its possible to stop loving or missing anyone, specially a soulmate, but you just have to get on with your life.

[DotH]

I never stopped loving or missing mine for 20 years and then the git up and died before I could be a part of his life again, don't put off til tomorrow what you can do today.

[steviep165]

its impossible. believe me it is.

[Aliceband]

Try and get over him Vivacia. Not being hard. If you are meant to be together, then I believe you will be one day.

But in the meantime, accept your life as it is now. And enjoy it.

[bloaterbum]

Romance is a wonderfu.l
thing ask all the good writers I met someone from my teenage years and 32 years on it was as if we had ever stopped talking .Alas she is still married and Isingle.it was wild fantasy and Iguess that's all it will ever be .Sad Iknow

[willa]

Are you really in love with the real him, or with the him you remember? You may need to take off the rose-colored glasses for a while and figure this out.

If you were meant to be together, wouldn't one of you have made it happen by now? You may be thinking of the man you wish he were, and not the man he is. You just haven't seen enough of him over the years to know who he is now. You were both free (albeit at different times), and yet did either of you contact the other to say you were interested in meeting?

It sounds like you need closure of some sort. Maybe that means contacting him. Maybe that means pouring out your heart into a letter that you keep just for you. But you can't move on without coming to some sort of decision as to whether or not you want to try to make him a part of your life.

Sure, if you're meant to be together, it will happen. (It happened to my voice teacher and her high school sweetheart 25 YEARS after graduation.) But will you make your destiny happen or just put your life on hold waiting for the gods - or him - to act? You may be afraid that he won't give you the answer you want, but at least you'll know. Who knows? Maybe he's thinking the same as you but doesn't know how you feel.

I'm not the cynic I may appear to be - I fell in love with my absolute soulmate on first sight, and in May we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Soulmates and true love cannot be denied.

[4getmenot]

True love never dies

[Vivacia]

thanks for all your replies. I can't really contact him because that would mean asking our mutual friends for his number and also at the moment he is living with his pregnant girlfriend :( Im kind of of the opinion that if i believe he is my soulmate then i should try to fight for him but on the otherhand i think i should maybe give up as she is having his baby, not for her sake but maybe its to much to compete with! I just keep hoping i will see him out and can get talking to him again and we will both confess our undying love for each other!