I have just experienced Hell.

[Joe_the_Lion]

I have just returned from a place called New Addington. It is only about 30 miles away from me but I have never been there. It is a Croyden spin off I believe.

Well to cut a long story short I stoped off at a parade of shops to get a coffee. For the first time in my life, some boys of mixed ethnic origin actually said to me in some English dialect sounding like a rap song "Mister we will mind your car for a tenner". I honestly thought this only happened in the movies. I have never had it before.

Thinking quick on my feet I got out my mobile phone and pretended I knew how to use the camera on it.

I said "Right you bunch of immigrant chavs. I am filming you all and with my other hand I will fight all of you at once. (there were three of them) Let's rock and roll"

All of sudden they scarpered like an Olympic relay team.

I have three questions.

1) Was it wrong to use possibly racist slang to ward off the possible vandals?

2) Has this ever happenned to you?

3) Should I set up a company offerring a Chav clear-up service in your area?

The thing that gets me is the cheek of these immigrants. I am a big man and even with my non-aggressive genes, they really posed no threat. But what balls they must have to have even asked.

Also has anybody been to New Addington, it really is the Devils armpit.

[cazzz1975]

the chavs in my area would laugh at a guy brandishing a phone.

[~max~]

1) Yes. As an upper-class gentleman, I would think you could summon some witty reply / latin quote / a butler.
2) No. Unless I ever come across a particularly thick bunch, I doubt they'll ever wanna steal a bus pass.
3) We already have one. It's called a job centre, and it works pretty well.
x

[peasant]

Do you really expect anybody to believe that load of nonsense, idiot. well apart from your little band of followers and lets face it, even convicted rapists and murderers on death row seem to have their followers.

Whatever floats your boat.

[bigmamma]

They didn't try to take your phone ? Round here they would .

[Joe_the_Lion]

Peasant, you harp on about "my followers", yet you are the only one who logs on especially to answer me. You have never answered anybody else!! And your actual username was made just for me.

If you are going to insult me, you really must do better. Because at the moment, you are nothing but complimentary.

However, I can see that the little modicum of bravery I may have shown to these thugs is something you crave. You are so brave, you won't even reveal your usual username.

I think therefore, peasant is very honest.

[Rubyrose]

Lmao at Peasant!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm sorry Wardy but how stupid is this site going to get? This is just hilarious! Some kn0bj0ckey has to create an account under the name Peasant! Lol.. do they not realise thats not even an insult to you?
Ahhh dear... it's comical... just comical!

Anyway... back to the point at hand...
If you had done that in my town they would have had your mobile too... Actually.. if you had done it to me... I'd have had your mobile... Lol.. joke. ;o)
Don't think what you said was wrong... it did make me lmao though...

[bobtheduck-]

lmaoing is a serious medical condition, try cod liver oil

[Pippa68]

The last time I was in New Addington was about 23 years ago. I was going out with Rob the Roofer, and he lived there.

It seems the place hasn't changed much.

[Joe_the_Lion]

Rob the Roofer, can you fix it?

[Rubyrose]

Thanks Bob... I will try that one... I did start taking St John Warts but I don't think he liked it! Lol..

[johnlambert]

The Army taught me how to body language to diffuse and win a confrontation without recourse to violence. It works 99% of the time, however you will always find some moron willing to take his chances, that's where the Aikido (also taught by the Army) comes in handy.

[dee5]

I live near New Addington and yes you are right it is the devils armpit!!

[johnlambert]

No no it's true, New Addington really is dreadfull

[whiffey]

New Addington is awful - but a redeeming feature is that within just a few miles is some of the most beautiful countryside in England, and the most peaceful lane I have ever come across on a bike. No, I am not going to say where.

[Pippa68]

You are right...New Addington is rather like a boil on Cat Deeleys chin, eh whiffey?

[fine,thanks]

is whiffey working for M I 5 ?