Playing it cool...

[Rubyrose]

How do you do this without appearing to ignore someone?
If you have been talking to someone for weeks/months on end and are really friendly with them.. then when you suddenly decide to play it cool.. how do you do this?

I am trying it today... well.. from now on anyway! I want to be in control of the situation but when he keeps coming to chat to me, I can hardly ignore him! He has already given me half a cake today too!
I am trying to not look rude but at the moment things don't seem any different because we are chatting as normal!

[4getmenot]

why are you wanting to ignore him anyway?

[Goodsoulette]

ruby, ruby I hope you are not referring to the married man that you flirt with in your office.

If you are then do not play it cool. Carry on chatting as normal because any change in attitude might make him think you ike him or make him like you more, as the whole playing it cool thing is designed to do.

In fact if its not him then why bother playing it cool if its not a natural thing to do, be yourself.

If it is him, hes not yours to be flirting with.

[Rubyrose]

I'm not at all! But after a year of flirting and spending all weekend thinking 'enough is enough'.. (he is the married one).. I have decided to move on... and the only way to move on, is to first convince yourself it can be done and convince him you aren't interested!

[4getmenot]

but he may take this as playing hard to get, dont ignore just calm it down to just mates and stop the flirting

[Rubyrose]

Well he already knows I like him and he flirts with me all the time! In fact its gotten so bad in the last few weeks that people have asked me if anything is going on!
This is what I am trying to stop... we shouldn't be this close!

[Goodsoulette]

Good... good. Just stay friendly, try not playing with your hair or playing up to his advances etc etc and when he asks for your advice regarding personal matters tell him you dont really know maybe he should ask x, y and z.

[4getmenot]

but if the flirting isnt returned he will eventually stop. Or just speak to him and tell him. All its needs is for you to say 'Look I like you as a mate and was flattered for a while but you are married, I feel awkward and I really think enough is enough'

[Rubyrose]

Thats the impression I need to give... Need to calm it down and just be friendly, not flirty.... But... if you knew me... You'd know its the hardest thing ever for me to do!!! I am known as the one who flirts with all the guys and the one who all the guys flirt with!

[Rubyrose]

Oh my god! I can't say that too him... That is far to serious... he'd think I was a nut job... I think as far as he is concerned it is just flirting... nothing more.. although he knows I like him.... so he is being naughty.. ! I just know he will ask me what I am doing for lunch today!

[4getmenot]

but you said he knows you like him, so he does think its more, Just speak to him

[4getmenot]

Then say no, its not difficult

[Rubyrose]

Oh damn! I am not prepared for this.... Can't I go on lunch with him but just not flirt... surely it would be a good test?

[4getmenot]

you not flirt?? You've already said its hard. He loves this attention and is lapping it up, thats why he invites you to lunch all the time now. He's married he ought to start remembering that. Sounds like a sleaze to me

[Doc Spock]

Few days off, just got back and what do I find.

Ruby still agonising over whether or not to sh@g this fella.

Go on Ruby, bend over the desk, you know you want to.

[Katie~77]

Surely you can carry on being friendly with him.......just don't sleep with him!x

[Doc Spock]

I presume you are hard at work, where can I get a job like that?

Well you know what they say, a good man is hard to find, but a hard man etc etc etc.

[Rubyrose]

F*ck off Spock!

4get - I will try my best not to though.. that's the thing... and I feel more in control... Kind of... I can tell you guys whats going on in my head but when I am on lunch with him... I will just be cool! I won't even run to the loos before lunch to recheck my eye make up!

[4getmenot]

so what he flirts with you on lunch, what will you do?

[Rubyrose]

Indeed Katie.... I will not being doing anything with him at all.. we can just be friends! And I can carry on flirting with the other guys in here but I don't want him to see this and feel like he is being snubbed!

[4getmenot]

maybe stop flirting all togather would be the solution