Playing it cool...

[Rubyrose]

How do you do this without appearing to ignore someone?
If you have been talking to someone for weeks/months on end and are really friendly with them.. then when you suddenly decide to play it cool.. how do you do this?

I am trying it today... well.. from now on anyway! I want to be in control of the situation but when he keeps coming to chat to me, I can hardly ignore him! He has already given me half a cake today too!
I am trying to not look rude but at the moment things don't seem any different because we are chatting as normal!

[fiest82]

But ruby do you not see how you creating your own problem of being and staying single? If I saw a flirty guy with girls around him all the time, I'd stay away too.

[nic2006]

ruby - get a life. You own life , and stop wanting others. You can stop flirting you CHOOSe not too. Pathetic

[leewayne]

good advice fiest82

[4getmenot]

a girl I know uptown had no confidence and she falt fat and ugly and as soon as she lost a bit of weight, even though still quite large people commented on it and that gave her a bit more confidence, she got married and got more friends and started going out alot more, she's now single and living alone after her bloke found out about all her affairs. You may like all this attention and it makes you feel good but put yourself in the wifes shoes, and yes I agree With fiest. Only because I probably used to be exactly the same as you too, but in the end it didn�t make me happy.

[Rubyrose]

Fiest - I completely agree.. You are very right. If I saw a guy that all the girls hung around and flirted with.. I don't think I'd look at him as boyfriend material... but that suits me if none of them see me as that.. Because I don't want a relationship with any of them and shouldn't because they are all partnered off... But just one in particular I happen to like but know nothing can happen with but being good friends with someone you fancy is never a good thing.. but I don't want to stop being his mate!

Nic - Excellent advice! Thanks! Noted! :oS

[Rubyrose]

Thing is I do feel attractive and sexy and don't think I am ugly but there is some confidence lacking there! But at the moment I don't want a relationship.... I am too happy being single and being me and having a great time with my friends... I am not looking for a boyfriend. If I was I could have easily had one by now. I go on dates and stuff but I never tend to be as interested in them. I am fairly happy with my life at the moment.. Just wish I could stop fancying inapropriate guys!

[fiest82]

ruby, if you want to stay mates with the married bloke, I think flirting is definitely off the shelf.
Try and have a good, honest convo with him ... if you find it hard or can't, I'm not sure if the firendship can remain for too long... :S

[Rubyrose]

Thanks Fiest.

He just hovered by my desk and made a comment about lunch.. I didn't say anything and just looked busy... he has gone now... Tomorrow though.. me and him have to go for a drive to view a venue... alone in his car for an hour! Damn!

[Corrinne74]

You really are a boring ar*e!!!!!! Talk about something grown up for once you imbcile!

[redcrx]

try getting out of the other side of the bed tomorrow corrine! :)

[Hellyon]

Ruby Ruby Rosie - There is nothing wrong with flirting as long as both sides know that is what it is. I get the feeling that your chappy is getting flirting and chatting up slightly confused. Carry on flirting with him by all means but incorporate his married status and his wife and impending father hood into the flirting - it'll just remind him that you are well aware that he is taken and you have no intention of interfering in that relationship. Also include other staff in your flirting so he realsies he is not 'the only one'. That way you don't have to curb your naturally flirty manner!!!

[Rubyrose]

Thanks Hellyon...

He has seen me flirt with some of the other guys but it doesn't help that they ALL know I like him and have told him many times before.. also they go away on business together a lot and some of them have told me that they mention me to him!!! I might have to have words with them and tell them that I don't want them to say it to him anymore!

Corinne - I'm just going to give you a tiny bit of advice.. Might find it helps you in the future... if you don't like my threads.. don't read them! I don't like Marmite.. so I don't eat it! I find life is easier if you apply that rule!

I love it how people come into my threads and tell me to grow up... Haha... it's like 'Ok you just came all the way in here to insult me and I am the one who needs to grow up?'!

[Aschenbach]

My opinion.

You fear an actual relationship and choose to ruminate upon unachievable goals instead.
You secretly analyse trivial inconsequential behaviour ad nauseum because you're bored.
You are self-conscious because you don't have a boyfriend and most of your friends do.
When the married man brings up your personal life you feel most uncomfortable because you feel obliged to lie to him.
Ultimately, you would prefer not to know whether he thinks of you as merely a colleague as the game would end and reality is perhaps not so intriguing.

[Corrinne74]

all you talk about is what guys you fancy and dothey fancy you etc tec, it's boring

[Rubyrose]

Aschenbach - While that is a thoughtout answer and does sound slightly on the mark... in some areas I must dissagree. I don't fear a relationship at all. I have had them before and I am sure I will have them again but for now I am very content in it just being me. I enjoy my own company, I have plenty of friends and I barely find time to feed my rabbit, let alone squeeze a partner in... In fact, outside of work, my social life is buzzing... Inside of work it's buzzing too but it has a totally different edge to it!
I don't get it when you say 'you feel oblidged to lie to him'! I don't lie to anyone about my personal life! I don't get what you mean!

I agree with the bit about not wanting to know what he thinks of me as... because while we flirt and have a laugh and a chat... if he said he really wasn't interested then it would be game over!

[4getmenot]

ok so maybe you go for the taken guys because you know they wont want you and you wont have to be in a relationship but still get the thrill out of it

[Rubyrose]

Perhaps, 4get.... perhaps! I don't do it consciously (sp?) I know that..... I just do it! I suppose it's because I know the hurt involved before I get involved so I know I can't get broken hearted! But I have fancied him for a year and only found out he was married 3 months after I started to like him!

[joshieboyo]

Ah rubyrose, still ho-ing your way around I see..

[essex bloke]

Hey Rubes ,get your friend on here and the natives will leave you alone and pick on him