Is it just me..........

[iheartruby]

or does anybody else find Katie Meluah APPALLING?
I cannot believe anybody would enjoy this god awful, dreary, depressing empty music! And I thought Dido was depressing til I had to be exposed to 9 million bicyles in beijing.
Who else do we Abers feel assaulted on the ears by?
IHR x

[Reverandfunk]

My trousers off ebay are flares
They remind me of hartley hare
Oh Pipkins where are you
How I long to smell your carroty breath
Then slowly put my hands arouin neck
And strangle you

[iheartruby]

Dear Reverandfunk, Pippa68 & Iheartruby,

I've noticed your work. We need a new trio to stand on stage at top of the pops and knock out some very basic rhyming music. We will provide you with a backing band to make you look more substantial. We will also put wrinklets into your hair and give you a guitar to strum. Interested?

Contact me.

Regards

Pete Waterman

[Reverandfunk]

Dearest Tubby Pete,

Although I is a bloke I will do anything for a curly wurly and a thumbed copy of razzle.

Yours in anticipation....

[Pippa68]

Rev you are beginning to sound like John Hegley.

Oh how I loved his work...

''Pat, you are fat...etc etc''

Pete, I would love to work with you. Can you arrange for me to do mine as a duet with Jason Donovan or Rick Astley?

[Reverandfunk]

You should be so lucky

I used to look like Rick Astley (honest)

[iheartruby]

Dear Pippa,

No sorry, the only acts we have who are prepared to back you up are Pat & Mick.

Regards

Pete

[Reverandfunk]

And the Reynolds Girls

[LoftyLottie]

Sitting back enjoying this thread - thanks :o)

[iheartruby]

Dear Reverand,

Due to your calling me tubby, I am only prepared to offer a Freddo and a 1992 copy of readers wive's.

Regards

Pete

ps Rick Astley look-a-likes wanted in Bognor old people's home.

[Pippa68]

I'd rather Jack
Than Fleetwood Mac
No heavy metal,Rolling Stones, we don't want them back
I'd rather Jack
Than Fleetwood Mac

Now THAT is poetry.

Let's all chant!

[Reverandfunk]

Dear Pedro

As long as the the pages aint covered in polyfilla I am prepared to negotiate.

I can also do acting an that and once was in Oliver when I was 9. Not actually in him you understand, but I done singing and had some tap shoes even though I wanted football boots...

[Pippa68]

Dear Mr Waterman,

Please can you forward any other copy of Readers Wives besides a 1992 edition. For reasons I cannot specify at this time, I would rather those editions were not put on any further distribution.

If you grant me this request I will be prepared to accept your offer of Pat &/or Mick and gratefully deliver meals on wheels to Bananarama.

Yours truly,
Pippa

[iheartruby]

Dearest Pippa

You are getting too good at this. I can still only offer you the same rate - but you may now feel you would be better served with Sony or Simon Cowell.

Ta, ta, ta, ta,t, t, t, t, t, ta, ta, take or leave us, only please believe us, we aint ever gonna pay you lots of money.

Regards

Pete

[iheartruby]

Dear Pippa,

Issue 1992, page 12 - who is this stunner dressed up as Pippa from Home & Away. I assume it is co-incidence that you have the same name?

Regards,

Pete

[iheartruby]

Dear Rev,

No More Nails copies of RW only - take it or leave it.

Pete.

[Reverandfunk]

Peter

I feel violated

[iheartruby]

wyzzat rev?

[Reverandfunk]

I just cannot look at reader wives since my mother sent in her "portfolio"

[Pippa68]

Dear Pete,

Simon Cowell has already offered me a duet with Steve Butlins, green M&Ms for a year, Sinitta's dog, a chance to cover the classic ''Every Loser Wins''.

Also in the contract will be the right for Mr Cowell to own the rights to Readers Wives 1992, and page 12 has been removed, framed, and hung on the wall in Simon's utility room.

Let the discussions commence,
Pippa

[iheartruby]

Pippa

I simply cannot compete with that on the basis that I can only offer red M&Ms. No negs.

Pete