Who Would Raise My Son ?

[Smowball]

Sorry to be morbid, but should I die would my son automatically go to his father(my ex) or would my current husband be able to raise him? I haven't made a will yet, but my husband says it would make no difference, even if I stated in it that I did not want his biological father to raise him, the courts would automatically give his real father priority over his step-father who raises him with me.

Anybody know?? TIA

[Prudie]

I don't know Smow but I think your son is old enough that his wishes would be a major factor. Would his biological father want to take him on?

[Smowball]

No, I dont think his biological father would cope, nor would he want to full time. Just wondered what the legal situation was.

[bednobs]

you cannot "will" a person, so in that respect you HB is right. In the real world. what would probably happen is that if your HB and som wanted to, and ythe father didn't object, things would just stay the same, with your hb having to apply for guardianship

[RATTER15]

//I don't know Smow but I think your son is old enough that his wishes would be a major factor.//

Totally agree!!

[RATTER15]

Would your current husband adopt him, and would your ex allow him to adopt?

[bednobs]

it would be silly (and very difficult) for the hb to adopt him - he already has a dad

[atalanta]

Adoption is possible, but if the biological father is alive, his permission must be given. ( I was once involved in a similar case.) An adoption court would give adoption rights against a biological father's wishes only in extreme circumstances, for instance if violence had ever been proved, or if some other kind of criminal behaviour made him an undesirable parent.

[Smowball]

Adoption hasnt entered my head! Its just that his biological father has many issues healthwise mentally, and I would be very unhappy with him raising our son permanently.

[magsmay]

Its not strictly true that you can't 'will' anyone. You can state in your Will who you would like to be a Guardian (or guardians) of your minor children. This can be more than one person and can include Grandparents and step parents. its a good idea to have more than one as if you give guardianship to your husband and you are both killed at the same time then their will be a problem. You can Will what you like to your minor child to be kept in Trust and could give him part of any assets or money that is yours so the Guardian(s) could then take at appropriate times for his maintenance. I know this is true as have done it personally.

[RATTER15]

The adoption would be very straight forward as long as the Father agrees to this, I know because I have been in that situation, I didnt agree.

[netibiza]

Agree with magsmay, when I made a will I was told to appoint a guardian for my underaged child, I chose my brother and his wife, but luckily it wasn't necessary.

[netibiza]

I should add that my child has a father (my husband) but the solicitor explained that we may all be in a car crash and if neither of us survived, the child would need a guardian.