Masterchef - The Professionals
Film, Media & TV11 mins ago
Three Blondes
Brunette: I love the new shaving cream I got. It works great! It makes my legs feel so silky.
Blonde: Shaving cream never works for me. I've given up on using it.
Brunette: Are you sure your razor just isn't too dull?
Blonde: Razor? I don't use a razor. I told you, I use shaving cream!
On their anniversary night, the blonde husband sat his wife down in the bedroom with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet up and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
"How romantic!" she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.
Her harried blonde husband was removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, when he saw her in the doorway.
"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long but I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"
"More than an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffing' it through those little holes."
A blonde was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12, he's notified that his uncle has died and left him over £100,000.
The blonde was so happy when the warden gave him the news, that he made a promise to put the money in a trust fund until he was released. The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying up the money.
The blonde said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a PC. The warden agreed and got him a computer - a brand new Dell. After a few weeks, the warden visited him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement, he saw the computer smashed on the floor.
The warden asked him what happened and the blonde said it didn't work properly and that it would not even complete the simplest of tasks.
The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do, and the blonde said he just wanted one simple task, but the computer couldn't perform it.
The blonde said, "I hit the Escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothing, I am still here. I think I'm going to sue Dell."
Blonde: Shaving cream never works for me. I've given up on using it.
Brunette: Are you sure your razor just isn't too dull?
Blonde: Razor? I don't use a razor. I told you, I use shaving cream!
On their anniversary night, the blonde husband sat his wife down in the bedroom with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet up and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself.
"How romantic!" she thought.
Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.
Her harried blonde husband was removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, when he saw her in the doorway.
"Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long but I had to refill the pepper shaker."
"Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"
"More than an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffing' it through those little holes."
A blonde was in jail serving 30 years for robbing banks. After serving about 12, he's notified that his uncle has died and left him over £100,000.
The blonde was so happy when the warden gave him the news, that he made a promise to put the money in a trust fund until he was released. The warden asked him if there was anything he wanted to buy before tying up the money.
The blonde said he had read a lot about computers and wanted a PC. The warden agreed and got him a computer - a brand new Dell. After a few weeks, the warden visited him in his cell to see how he was doing. To his amazement, he saw the computer smashed on the floor.
The warden asked him what happened and the blonde said it didn't work properly and that it would not even complete the simplest of tasks.
The warden asked him what he wanted the computer to do, and the blonde said he just wanted one simple task, but the computer couldn't perform it.
The blonde said, "I hit the Escape key and nothing happened, I hit the key again and still nothing, I am still here. I think I'm going to sue Dell."
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