Crosswords1 min ago
Four For The Price Of One
A woman was filling out an accident report. She had dented a parked car while trying to park her own.
One question on the report was, "What could the driver of the other vehicle have done to avoid the accident?"
She wrote, "He could have parked it somewhere else."
A gentleman was lured into a busy florist shop by a large sign in the window that read, "Say It with Flowers."
"Wrap up one rose," he told the florist.
"Only one?" the florist asked.
"Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."
A woman came storming into the Royal Mail sorting office.
She handed a "you were out" delivery note to the man behind the counter.
She complained, "This morning, your postman came with our parcel for delivery. He left this note for us to collect it from here, but my husband was home all the time. Why couldn’t they knock on our door and hand the parcel over?"
The Post master was polite and apologetic. He went inside brought the parcel and handed it to the lady.
Then just casually he asked, "Madam what is inside this parcel that is so important?"
The lady replied, "My husband's new hearing aids."
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."
"What's a Midnight Special?"
"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"
One question on the report was, "What could the driver of the other vehicle have done to avoid the accident?"
She wrote, "He could have parked it somewhere else."
A gentleman was lured into a busy florist shop by a large sign in the window that read, "Say It with Flowers."
"Wrap up one rose," he told the florist.
"Only one?" the florist asked.
"Just one," the customer replied. "I'm a man of few words."
A woman came storming into the Royal Mail sorting office.
She handed a "you were out" delivery note to the man behind the counter.
She complained, "This morning, your postman came with our parcel for delivery. He left this note for us to collect it from here, but my husband was home all the time. Why couldn’t they knock on our door and hand the parcel over?"
The Post master was polite and apologetic. He went inside brought the parcel and handed it to the lady.
Then just casually he asked, "Madam what is inside this parcel that is so important?"
The lady replied, "My husband's new hearing aids."
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."
"What's a Midnight Special?"
"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"
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