Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
Very Unpc Blonde Jokes
Two young blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw a sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying, turned around and went home.
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Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking. One blonde says to her friend, 'Which do you think is farther away - Florida or the moon?' The other girl turns and says 'Hellooooo, can you see Florida?'
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A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replies in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
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There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts. 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'You're wrong!' she yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that she had named one Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend laughed. 'Whoever heard of someone giving their dogs names like that!'
'Hellooo!' replied the blonde. 'The pet shop man did say they are watch dogs, you know.'
********
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking. One blonde says to her friend, 'Which do you think is farther away - Florida or the moon?' The other girl turns and says 'Hellooooo, can you see Florida?'
********
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
********
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replies in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
********
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts. 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
********
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'You're wrong!' she yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
********
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
********
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that she had named one Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend laughed. 'Whoever heard of someone giving their dogs names like that!'
'Hellooo!' replied the blonde. 'The pet shop man did say they are watch dogs, you know.'
Answers
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I could just imagine this being Sqad:
A surgeon went to check on his patient, a blonde from Essex. She was awake so he examined her.
"You're doing fine," he said.
"Well how long will it be before I'm able to resume my normal sex life doctor?"
The surgeon paused, and was rather lost for words.
"What's the matter doctor, I am gonna be okay, aint I ?"
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, you'll be fine...it's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
A surgeon went to check on his patient, a blonde from Essex. She was awake so he examined her.
"You're doing fine," he said.
"Well how long will it be before I'm able to resume my normal sex life doctor?"
The surgeon paused, and was rather lost for words.
"What's the matter doctor, I am gonna be okay, aint I ?"
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, you'll be fine...it's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
1 to 6 of 6
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