How Do I Respond To My Ex?

[TOOTRUE]

We broke up over two years ago mutually but with much animosity as he was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. He stalked me throughout the relationship and for months afterwards but after a year and a half I believed he had gone for good. Yesterday he drove down my street very slowly beside me with a blonde in passenger seat. He gave me the most evil, condescending, drawn out smirk which my 12yr old boy noticed. The blonde leant forward in annoyance when she was wondering what he was looking at. I used to look at him and then through him but I'm tired of giving him a power trip. I suspect he will start to do this more now so how should I respond to it?

[jno]

there are laws against stalking; doing this once isn't stalking but repeating the process is.

[EcclesCake]

Give him a cheery wave or blow him a kiss......basically anything that will show you are not intimidated by him.

[ojread2]

Oh a cheery wave with a long, smouldering look and a kiss blown with a wink to get him rowing with that blonde - that should do it

[grasscarp]

I would mouth two words which he will understand.

[TOOTRUE]

Trying to decide which answer to go for. If I smile, wink, blow kiss he could delude himself in to thinking I want him badly though it would get him in trouble with blonde who looked peeved enough. If I mouth F OFF he'll be happy to have antagonized me. Maybe pull tongues and laugh???

[Baby_Sham]

Definitely give him a 'seductive' look when he's with the blonde.

Though saying that, if you're anything like me, you're 'seductive look' will resemble someone having a stroke...

Give him a cheery wave instead :)

[maggiebee]

Cheery wave is more than enough. If he persists in driving down your street, as jno said, there are laws against stalking.

[Postdog]

Personally, I think don't respond in any way. You try to show him you don't care and he is more likely to feel wound up and be more sneaky in what he does. Ditto if you are showing it is getting to you.

Best thing by far is the appearance of apathy, but diarist and record any incidents for evidence and if it looks like an on going thing, bring in the police and let them deal with it.

[Sqad]

I agree with Postdog's first sentence ^^^

Plus a two fingered salute.

[andy-hughes]

I would ignore him.

Such activity only has an effect if you let it - you are in control.

When this silly man sees that you are not intimidated by his immature behaviour, he will stop and go back to playing with his marbles.

[grasscarp]

I think he has lost them Andy

[VHG]

DONT acknowledge him at all.

He is only doing this to get a reaction from you.

Don't give him the satisfaction of giving him a reaction.

He sounds a sad loser to be honest.

[Retrochic]

Ignore him completely, do not make eye contact. Any interaction with him will only end in trouble -if you cause friction between him and his new girlfriend you will be to blame in his eyes, and he may become abusive towards you.

[whirlyhurly]

Can you not move perhaps to a different county, without him knowing. He's still got you on his "creepy" mind.

[boxtops]

Don't do anything at all, TooTrue - if you spot hi, pretend you've not noticed him. He's not the centre of your world any longer, he sounds like he's on a big ego trip, trying to suss out if you still hanker after him. Just look straight ahead, don't respond at all. If he draws attention to himself by honking or calling out, just wake dismissively. He's past history.

Meanwhile - keep a record again, as suggested, in case a pattern is emerging.

[TOOTRUE]

I was bringing my son home from school and he past us in the car at the corner. I just glanced at him and he was smiling to himself. For now I just continued ignoring him.

[Daffy6543]

I wouldn't want to get him in trouble with the blonde, what if they argue and he attacks her as he used to attack you?

[boxtops]

Doh - that should say "wave dismissively" - my fingers are fat this afternoon :-(

[atalanta]

Keep a notepad and pencil on you, and make it obvious you are keeping notes on his behaviour. Check your watch and write down the times. Make sure he sees you do this.