Does Anyone Hold The Least Sympathy For This Mother?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3117990/Judge-warns-family-missing-mother-son-s-deeply-suspicious.html

It appears that this woman does not what the father to have any contact with their child whatsoever, and regardless of any previous court decisions has deemed it necessary to take this action, which can only be damaging for the child she admits is her major concern.

[Retrochic]

No I have no sympathy for the mother. A court has heard evidence we have not, and has deemed the child would not be 'emotionally stable' with its mother. It has been a protracted case over nearly all of the child's life. The child should be put into the care of the father and the mother should have limited access. Not all mothers are worthy of the title.

[Old_Geezer]

Generally speaking I have sympathy for all embroiled in a family split up. It can't be easy especially when the children can, effectively, be passed to one parent as prime carer, leaving the other as secondary. But without good cause neither parent should be denied reasonable access.

[youngmafbog]

It's very unusual for a father to get custody, there has to be something that really puts the child at risk like drugs or neglect.

We dont know the facts on this so difficult to comment, but yes I do feel some sympathy as I know what it is like to be deprived from seeing your kids (although all I had done was be born a male - a great sin in the eyes of right-on Courts, lawyers and shrinks)

The action she has taken though will have totally the sdverse affect on what she wants to achieve though. I just hope they can reconcile some differences for the child's sake or it will be yet another one in Child and Adolescent services.

[Snafu03]

Its so unusual for a Father to be granted custody, the mother refuses to accept the judgment. Says it all really.

[anotheoldgit]

youngmafbog

/// but yes I do feel some sympathy as I know what it is like to be deprived from seeing your kids (although all I had done was be born a male - a great sin in the eyes of right-on Courts, lawyers and shrinks) ///

How very sad YMB, we daily debate with others on this site, and sometimes feel that we know them personally, but it is only when we get a brief glimpse into other's personal lives, brought on by self admittance of personal difficulties or health problems etc, that we realise, we know so very little about our fellow ABers lives at all.

[mikey4444]

I have sympathy with her in one respect...that she is going to parted from her son. But as YMB has said, we don't know all the details of this case, nor even much at all. Its very unusual for a court to award custody to a father and there has to be a good reason why the Judge chose to do so.

We can extend sympathy without condoning her actions surely ?

[Mamyalynne]

I too have some sympathy for all involved - especially the poor little lad.

Why oh why when relationships break down, can't adults come to a sensible agreements for the care and contact of the children. Then this type of scenario could be avoided.

[ummmm]

I sympathize.

[mikey4444]

A disturbing aspect of this case is that the mothers extended family may be colluding with her in the child's disappearance. There is more to this than meets the eye it would seem.

[anotheoldgit]

Mamyalynne

/// Why oh why when relationships break down, can't adults come to a sensible agreements for the care and contact of the children. Then this type of scenario could be avoided. ///

That will never happen, you will always get one side to think that it is them who is being victimised, as in this case even after a court ruling.

[mikey4444]

Its precisely because of adults inability to work issues like this out between themselves, that why we have a Court system in the first place. This mother should just comply with the law.

[naomi24]

A curious case. Yes, I have sympathy for her, but that's not to say that the court's decision was wrong. I don't think we know enough about it to offer an informed opinion. I just know I hate to see a child used like a ping pong ball between two bitter parents.

[Mamyalynne]

AOG , sometimes people are sensible, so one cannot say never.

However I agree that it is common to see these wrangles and have witnessed them myself - hence my despondent 'Why oh why'.

[andy-hughes]

Mamyalynne - //Why oh why when relationships break down, can't adults come to a sensible agreements for the care and contact of the children. Then this type of scenario could be avoided. //

Because, in virtually cases in Western society, relationships are based entirely on emotions, and they don't cease to operate when the relationship breaks down.

I feel total sympathy with this mother - a mother's bond with her child is like no other, and her emotions will always override the sort of dispassionate rational thinking that is needed to accept the ruling of the court in this case.

I am not for one moment suggesting that the court ruling is incorrect, or that the mother should not have to abide by its ruling, but I still symathise with any mother who faces losing her child in this way.

[mikey4444]

Does anyone know if this Mother will be allowed to see the boy again, or will the normal contact arrangements be made ?

The reason that I am asking is one of her relatives is quoted as saying that the Mother thinks she will never see the boy again, if she complies with the court order. I was wondering if that is because the Father will run off with the boy, or refuse access, or that perhaps the Court will deny access.

[Prudie]

Yes I have every sympathy with her, having a child wrenched away is unbearable pain. I've been through a custody battle myself. Custody is awarded to fathers far more often than people think - sometimes the reasons are based just on financial stability. Don't assume if a mother loses she must be some spaced out drug addict or low life. We don't know in this case.

[whirlyhurly]

Good grief, I have the utmost sympathy for this mother. Who is to say we would not follow her example in the circumstances.

[mikey4444]

whirlyhurly....would you be showing as much sympathy for a father, if he was the one that did a runner with a child ?

[ummmm]

Andy..../ a mother's bond with her child is like no other/

As a mother I agree but as youngster my bond was with my father.

[andy-hughes]

ummm - //Andy..../ a mother's bond with her child is like no other/

As a mother I agree but as youngster my bond was with my father. //

I can entirely see your point - of our three daughters, the youngest and I are extremely close, the eldest is extremely close with her mother, and the middle daughter is more reserved, but still very loving of us both.