The DUP I think are hard Brexitters, but yes they do want a "soft" border with the ROI, but then I think everyone wants that if possible.
What they DO have a thing about is "no special case for N Ireland", which is bad news. The reason being that they don't want anything to happen which might, in their eyes, push NI closer to the Republic. This, along with the implications for the Stormont deadlock, are the reasons I personally am uneasy about a further more formal arrangement between the Tories and the DUP rather than all the other stuff and nonsense.
But I think hard Brexit ought to be dead, yes. The pre-election May was determined to face down the 48% and the 48% have told her where to go in no uncertain terms. She is now weak. She will have to address concerns that previously she arrogantly disregarded in her seeming push to hoover up deserting UKippers. But many of the latter seem to have voted against her for the very reasons they supprted UKIP: ie not necessarily or simply out of opposition to the EU but as a further revolt against the "established order" and austerity.
If I was Ruth Davidson I'd really be rubbing it in at this moment: she was treated with contempt by the Tory election team during the campaign, but the joke is on them now.