It seems to me that as punishment and admonishment in any meaningful way has declined violence outside has risen. It seems to be hand in hand with a number of factors that all combine for a perfect storm. No one thing is to blame in isolation. Although some aspects may have more weight though. Video games, violent films, less strict discipline, family...
You don't need to beat a child to maintain discipline!
My mother thought you did and beet us all over minor transgressions - all it meant was that we hid what we did, and left as soon as we were old enough we left and didn't talk to her again.
Parents who think it is ok the raise their children in fear are wrong - I'm very much damaged by the beatings I got as a child - even once when my leg was in plaster!
//How would you discipline 4 kids who are fighting, swearing, smashing things up, committing anti social behavior/crimes? //
Not let it get to that situation in the first place - you raise them with discipline from the start
Some kids only need a stare etc.. But what about the many that don't? Those that will stand and look you cold in the eyes and not even flinch, worse still, the one that want to strike you?
We'll see how the tide turns around the 5th Nov, when feral kids are running around throwing fireworks at pets and threw letter boxes and lets see how the softly softly approach works.
Do you think when my mother was beating me that I didn't want to hit her back, that when she beat my brothers that they didn't dream about doing the same to her!
They didn't and I didn't because we knew it was wrong to do that, to beat someone because you think that to install fear is a great way to raise children.
"Not let it get to that situation in the first place - you raise them with discipline from the start"
Very true islay, kids will always try and test you ay many points but it's the respect and discipline that will see them straight.
Those that know what I'm talking know, those that don't obviously haven't been through it or wouldn't know how to deal with it when it happened god forbid.
Well you have your opinion and I have mine, now escuse me as I have a date with a hot bubbly bath and a glass of rose after having the day from hell with the boss witch from hades.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Chastised children except the boundaries of decency, self control, tolerance and they are not number one. Laxity in teaching consideration of others, is a sure way to raise a selfish brat.
A smack...not a beating...not a thrashing..a smack concentrates the attention wonderfully. Show them the correct behaviour, by example. Supplemented with a slap if deliberately disobeyed. Kids will always push boundaries. I did, and mine did.
My parents never lifted a hand to me but I was brought up to respect people and property. Think I learned right from wrong more by example. My husband and I never lifted a hand to our children and they have turned out really well adjusted, caring adults.
Common sense is knowing that without a short sharp deterrent your kids are likely to just keep pushing the barriers back, disrespect you, and everyone else. Be a pest to the community. Clearly it doesn't teach that violence is acceptable or else today would be a less violent community. Kids aren't daft, they understand punishment for wrongdoing and how it differs from other circumstances. Banning smacking as a juvenile punishment is an irresponsible step, and an example of State interference in people's lives.
The interesting thing for me is, are people able to distinguish the difference between a smack/slap and a beating?
Within the contexts a smack/slap is once with open hand that is used more for 'shock' value to galvanise attention and drive home the severity of the situation and apart from a short lived sting has no lasting physical effects.
A beating is more than one, open or closed handed (or with an implement) used to inflict pain and suffering and leaves a longer or long lasting physical effect.
So anyone using beating when they mean smack/slap should think about how their terminology perhaps alienates from a true discussion on smacking. Because you are talking two entirely different things.
I was very strictly brought up and regularly beaten for any minor transgression. It certainly taught me right from wrong and to respect others, their belongings and the countryside. On the minus side I vowed to never have children myself in case I inherited their principles and more importantly, made my children feel the way that I was made to feel. Unloved and not valued.
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