AOG - // andy-hughes
/// However, if he is in a relationship deeply enough to be married, ///
Oh come off it Andy, how do you know how much he loves his girlfriend? Perhaps enough to marry her tomorrow if he wasn't already married, it happens you know. //
I think it reasonable to assume that this couple are in the early stages of their relationship, and maybe had not got into any serious discussions of viewpoints on important issues - it may be that their limited tile together was spent doing other things, we don't know, so I am making an assumption, which may be right or wrong.
// then it would be reasonable to assume that basics like attitudes to black people would have been discussed some time ago, and agreed ///
You really think that attitudes towards black people are basic discussions between two lovers, did you ask 'the present Mrs Hughes' what her feelings were towards black people, as you lovingly hugged and caressed her? //
I think that fundamental attitudes are ones that come up naturally in the course of getting to know someone. You are a married man - you know that as well as I do.
In the six years between meeting and marrying the present Mrs Hughes, I can't ever recall me sitting her down and enjoying a Twenty Questions session about attitudes to racism - but I can state with complete and certain knowledge that I do know her views and opinions about people of other races - as I do on her views about Stoke City Football Club - these things come up in conversation over time - if you have time that is - and as I said, you know that as well as I do.
// And if they had happened to be opposite to yours, would you have soon been looking for another Mrs Hughes? //
I wasn't 'looking for a Mrs Hughes' - but had I found that she had views that I could not accept, on any important subject - then we would not have progressed past our friendship into a relationship, and then into marriage.
To sum up - I expect no unpleasant surprises by this stage - had I been seeing Mrs Hughes in secret for a few months, then I could have done so - that is the difference.