Crosswords3 mins ago
Drive-Thru Cash Machines
7 Answers
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, Male & Female Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Lower your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window if desired.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3.. Set parking brake, lower the window.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, Male & Female Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Lower your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Raise window if desired.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3.. Set parking brake, lower the window.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Answers
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I'm sure that the female version is actually MUCH longer than that, Alba ;-)
[Buenchico ducks to avoid the missiles being launched by AB members 'of the fairer sex' and then ducks again because he's just used a sexist term!]
Actually, I spent a day (working on a travel survey) in my car sitting directly opposite a drive-through cash machine in Colchester. It was quite interesting watching the various ways that drivers (of both genders) managed to use the machine!
[Buenchico ducks to avoid the missiles being launched by AB members 'of the fairer sex' and then ducks again because he's just used a sexist term!]
Actually, I spent a day (working on a travel survey) in my car sitting directly opposite a drive-through cash machine in Colchester. It was quite interesting watching the various ways that drivers (of both genders) managed to use the machine!
1 to 7 of 7
