Beaten And Terrified Her For Months

[lankeela]

so why did she stay with him and not take any action - I will never understand and nobody will ever convince me otherwise.

[Mamyalynne]

Thank goodness she's now out of the clutches of that vile and vicious man.

[Peter Pedant]

// Mr Sih? He sounds a bit foreign!//

yeah later in the article it says the female partner is initially arrested. The police spokesman explained, that the arresting officer as a bad reader

[andy-hughes]

pixie - // //a strong woman, beyond such abuse, // charming :-) //

I'm not sure what your objection is - ?

I am suree you would agree that there are women who are strong characters, and unliely to succomb to the early stages of manipulation that excalate into mental and physical abuse.

I would also add that there are women who have been the victims of abusive relationships who do escape from them, and in doing so, become strong women who would not be in that situation again.

I think my problem is finding the correct language here.

By using the term 'strong woman' I would not for one moment intend to infer that, therefore, there must be 'weak women' who are lesser people, and find themselves in abusive relationships.

I think that some people do have stronger personality traits in certain areas than others, but that is not for one moment to suggest that not having such traits means that an individual without them is a 'weaker' or 'lesser' person - merely different.
I hope I have cleared up any misunderstanding, but if not, I am of course happy to discuss further.

[Peter Pedant]

OK o gawd I take it back

[andy-hughes]

Peter - // // Mr Sih? He sounds a bit foreign!//

yeah later in the article it says the female partner is initially arrested. The police spokesman explained, that the arresting officer as a bad reader //

What are you talking about?

Is this another of your baffling efforts to make light of a serious situation?

[Peter Pedant]

// By using 'strong woman' I do not intend to infer that, therefore, there must be 'weak women' //

pity really - if you use strong, I dont see how you can er divorce more strong and less strong - ( or weak )

because everyone is then equally strong, and there is no need to use the adjective

[Peter Pedant]

Andy speak sense
if you are going to use strong
it involves less strong and more strong
or else your words as ever are - - - nonsense (*)

( and I am far far from implying or inferring that)

(*) no no- the usual longwinded nonsense

[andy-hughes]

PP - // Andy speak sense //

Leaving aside the galaxy-sized irony of that statement, it is clear that you are swerving my point about your singularly peculiar need to joke about serious subjects, and instead, trying to embark on a thread-derailing discussion about semantics.

No sale.

[ToraToraTora]

gawd if PP ever utters any sense inform the Guinness book of records!

[pixie374]

No, Andy, I don't. I know i have said it before, but... I disagree that the manipulation depends on strong or weak women. I think it depends on the controlling men.

[andy-hughes]

pixie - // I disagree that the manipulation depends on strong or weak women. I think it depends on the controlling men. //

Surely one side of the relartionship cannot exist without the other?

[pixie374]

Of course it can. I'm not weak. I have been an imdependent single parent of 4 since I was 20, went from homeless to owning my own business... and still got taken in by the wrong person. You know that...
But, I'm not weak.

[AuntPG]

Pixie I have to disagree. Some women are needy and succumb to overbearing and abusive men because they are coerced into thinking it's their fault and inherently need to be cared for or loved. Abusive men actively seek out this sort of woman. A strong women would nip it in the bud -tell them to take a hike or worse, but its hypothetical, because an abusive man would not be attracted to a strong woman in the first place.

[AuntPG]

Pixie -sorry our posts crossed - so you got 'taken in' by a man? How did you solve it - seems you were perhaps strong enough to break free?

[andy-hughes]

pixie - // Of course it can. I'm not weak. I have been an imdependent single parent of 4 since I was 20, went from homeless to owning my own business... and still got taken in by the wrong person. You know that...
But, I'm not weak. //

With a subject like this, I am continually and acutely aware that I can only speak from an observer's point of view, I have not and can never have anything remotrely approaching direct experience of a situation like this.

As a Samaritan volunteer, I have dealt with a large number of women in this sort of situation - and that simply underlined the fact that I am never going to be able to address the issues involved from a position of authority.

I think again that my use of the adjective 'weak' is ill-advised, I will need to re-think how accurately to explain my views on a seriously difficult and emotive subject, without causing unintgentional upset through the always limited medium of cyber-print exchanges.

xx

[pixie374]

Then that just depends on your version of "strong".

[davebro]

I was in a relationship for 2 years that I realised could become seriously abusive (either way) and ended it. The lady had further relationships in which she was abused - maybe she was a "type" or just met the wrong men. I don't know.

[pixie374]

It wasn't about "strength", just a realisation,.apg.

[pixie374]

Andy, don't worry... I am fully aware that "print" id limited- and that I both read and write literally. Just also, I'm considering people who may not want to post (of either sex). And think that "weak" is not accurate or helpful x

[jourdain2]

I thought I was strong and independent. I thought he was belittled, ill-used and needed someone like me. I went to France with him, to give him a new start. I learned that he was an abuser. Mental and emotional stuff to begin with. It's horrible, but you don't want to believe what has been said, you make excuses. When the physical stuff starts - you still somehow blame yourself- because by then you've been conditioned into 'it's your fault for not having learned to handle or upset him'. It's also too late.

I was also alone in a foreign country, in an isolated farmhouse. How I'm still alive still makes me wonder. He tried to strangle me twice before I eventually called the gendarmes.

Now, I'm an educated and, I would have said, a strong, independent woman and that happened to me. Somehow I found myself simpering when he excused a nasty cut on my jawbone (he'd thrown me into the bedside table) by a sort of smiley, guilty laugh about 'messing about in bed'. I still bear the scar.

So, Lankeela - it's not as straightforward as you think. I did have huge financial problems concerned with splitting-up and no way of supporting myself, or anywhere to live, or any family handy. Please don't judge. It took massive efforts and years of French legal processes to get free. (As a plus, my legal French is pretty good.)