Little Johnny.....................

[Shaglene]

Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily.
His mother asked, "What's the matter now"
"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny through his tears.
"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"
"I did!" sobbed Johnny.

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The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."
"Can you tell me what comes after three?"
"Four," answers little Johnny.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven," answers little Johnny.
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?"
"A jack," answers little Johnny.
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Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I’m going to go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!"
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow! it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first."
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A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.
At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven, Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.
"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing that cream on your face, mommy?" he asked.
"To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

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Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his face.
Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?"
Johnny answered, "I was the only one who could answer a question."
"Oh, really? What was the question?" his mother asked.
"Who threw the rubber at the teacher?"
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Little Johnny said to Billy, "You know, Jane Smith cheats!"
"Why do you say that?" asked Billy.
"Well she said she'd show me hers if I showed her mine - but it turns out she hasn't got one!" exclaimed Little Johnny.

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Little Johnny's parents were having a party at their house. One of the guests was observing Little Johnny, who would hold his chest whenever he bent down.
After a few minutes, the woman asked Little Johnny, "Why do you hold your chest whenever you bend down?"
Little Johnny said, "It is to keep my lungs from falling out. One day my teacher was writing on the board, and the chalk fell down. When she bent down to pick up the chalk, I saw her lungs come right out of her chest!"

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Ms Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the discovery of America by Columbus.
She concluded with, "And all this happened more than 500 years ago."
"Gosh!" exclaimed Little Johnny, "What a great memory you have!"
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[poorclare]

Thank you, I enjoyed those jokes

[Patsy33]

:-))