Estranged Besties

[TiredOreo]

You know the typical enemies to besties, that's became our story at the start of the pandemic and we've been together ever since.My Bestie is the definition of Smart, Beautiful and wealthy, I could say she's perfection and I'm glad to have her as a BestFriend.

We finally graduated high school and she got into the university(Private) and unfortunately for me I couldn't, not because I failed (my grades do not fall below C+) it just happened to be that the university (public) I applied into didn't accept me for reasons like rigging of candidates results due to the corruption in my country and if you're well off just apply into a private university.

I can't say there wasn't a pang of jealousy but I continued to cheer her up because she's dear to me and it would do me no good to be jealous, it's just that when I spoke with her and few of my other friends they would always talk about being stressed out by school works , this and that whilst I just stayed home doing nothing and during the holidays when they would return, because I didn't have the courage to face them I would lie that I travelled to my relatives in another city.

At some point I started feeling estranged from her while preparing to take another exam for the next year hoping I'll get in but to no avail. I actually became depressed with a lot of things. I initially wanted to become a pilot and loved everything about being a pilot but due to poor finances I had to switch to nursing and when my family could have sponsored me into a private university to study nursing, my father did a major surgery on his spine that cost more than half of my Family's life savings.

I needed someone to confide in but I couldn't confide in her knowing nth would changed even if I did . One time I took a break off socials for 2-3weeks and when I returned I felt guilty and decided to talk about what I was going through with her. She said "I'm sorry I didn't know you were going through all this" and in less than few seconds she diverted the conversation to another topic. I was at the verge of tears that day, not that she could do anything about it, I just felt stupid because I told her. I just hoped that one day she could ask me what I was going through and why I haven't gotten into a university yet.

We continued talking as usual, I took the exam for the 3rd time and I didn't do good this time around, it just broke my heart to know that I wouldn't be getting admitted for the 3rd year after graduating high school. And then I decide to take another break off social media.

It's been almost 2 months since I went off, few friends called but i anticipated my bestie's call, even on my birthday I waited for her call but there wasn't any. Finally she called yesterday and I expected either "how are you doing" or "what happened" instead I got a "why haven't you been online" and even before I could makeup a lie the call disconnected.

My expectations broke my heart.
I love my bestie and we have plans together but I don't think I can continue this friendship anymore. I don't know how to break it off with her without feeling guilty.

I want to know if I'm asking for too much.

[Chairman2001]

Adolescent angst. You'll grow out of it.

[maggiebee]

Oh dear, what a shame, time to move on to pastures new. You could try your hand at writing a novel?

[Zacs-Master]

Grow TF up.

[bednobs]

you dont need to break up with her ... she's beaten you to it