im sorry but i am still finding things hard can you help?

[steve208]

Well i am still pushing on in my job in retail managment but really finding it very difficult esp doing a lot of late shifts and not seeing my girlfriend very much.

I am now considering handing mhy notice in and moving up north to move in with her.
Though the reasons i dont want to do this are: i am afraid about telling my parents as i want to move out of home, it would be a very big risk to leave a job without one to go to but i cant take time off for an interview etc. also i have only been in the job for 3 months and would feel really bad about letting the company down.

Reasons to leave: i am not dealing with the stress at all well in my opinion some stress is fine but there is just too much and had a breakdown last christmas due to stress, the job is really not for me i am bord and dont like the atmosphere of retail, it is not where i want to be but thought i could manage to do it for a while until i knew where i wanted to be but i cant cope with it.

[Katie~77]

Steve, how old are you?x

[steve208]

i am 24 katie and i feel i am stuck in a rut at the moment i need to take a big risk in life and if not that then at least move away from home and try to do a job which is better suited to me than where i am not. i just want to cry most of the day and am tearing myself apart inside with stress and worry. i mean the doctor has said to me to stick at it but i really dont feel it is good for me. i want to move away from home to be more independant and try to make progress in other areas of life as well as work as all i do at the moment is work. i have no time for my else with the hours i work and how tired i am getting. i dont want to try to take up activities round here as i want to make a freash start somewhere.

home and the area holds so much of the past and i believe if i move then i will go someway to moving on emotionally.

[Katie~77]

I moved from Bedfordshire to Shropshire all on my little lonesome when I was 22. I started in a job that I had no experience in. I made lots of friends had a fantastic social life. I'm now a manager, working for the same company and am married with two children. If you don't take risks in life nothing will ever happen to you! If it all goes belly up for you - so what!!! You can always move back home. But at least you will have given it a go! Your parents can't expect you to live at home forever, that's just not what life is about!x

[steve208]

no agree it is just telling them and finding a way to get things going and not make very rash decsions like handing my notice in tommorow. i need a bit of money behind me.

[Katie~77]

Steve......all you have to do is say guess what, I'm moving out to go and find a life! I'm sure they won't be surprised. You're not their little boy anymore.x

[steve208]

i know its just i kinda went thru a similar thing in december when i got a job offer in birmingham handed my notice in at work then got offered the retail managment position so in essense ive taken a wrong turn but feel really bad admiting i dont belong where i am.

i have been looking at the following site and am unsure about leavin my job and how it looks after such a short time.
http://www.thesite.org/workandstudy/working/le aving/quittingyourjob

[bobtheturkey]

steve you have been stick in a rut for the last 2 years because every so often you put the same whinging post up every time, what do you want people to do? you are an adult in full health with an education get up off you lazy backside and go and do something about, it apply for other jobs join a club, go out get a place of you own and stop yammering on about it. and stress what is stress? everyone is stressed there are people out there in wheelchairs holding jobs down and do they complain? there are terminally ill kids in hospital beds who would like to be you.
i have never seen such a self serving whinging individual like you before in my life what exactly have you got to be depressed about? sort yourself out give your self a shake and stop talking about it.

[Katie~77]

What is it about your job that you don't like? Is there any way you could get a transfer to where ever it is you want to move to?x

[warpig3]

Steve, if you are worried about what your parents might say make sure you have some plans laid down. All parents are different and some can start asking questions, why do you want to do this, what will you do when you get there, why give up you job, etc, believe me they can go on and on. Have a plan, know exactly what it is you want, where you want to be, have the financial backing to carry it through, basically have answers for all their questions should they arise, show them that you have thought it through totally. My only concern is that you may be depressed and although life is currently getting you down, will moving away and having a fresh start help or will the depression move with you. Personally I think fresh starts are great and empowering but just be sure you are doing this for the right reason and not thinking the grass is greener.

It seems to me you have considered the pros and cons for your decision and you know the way to go, don't do anything rash, set a realistic time limit for the fruition of your plans and work toward that, tackle each obstical as it arrives, keep focused on you goals and go for it.

Best of luck
warpig

[dot.hawkes]

Steve after 30 + years in retail management I am loving every (other) minute of it, you have to change your attitude mate, the job is tough because it is target driven and your customers have higher expectations than they ever did, you have to look at your job in a professional manner and focus on driving sales ans supporting your staff rather than your own dissatisfaction with it. If you truly feel that retail is not for you after so short a time you are n the wrong job, but it isn't a job that is stagnant or repetitive , there is always something new going on, you need to speak to your area manager and ask if you can move around the area a bit just to get a feel for the company more, show you have ambition.
I agree with Roberto, how many posts like this shave you done now, you need to get motivated and be less self analysing Steve.

[bobtheturkey]

let me see your job is quite tough and you want a new one, you want to move in with your girlfriend, my god steve that is tough how do you cope?

[steve208]

well i am still a trainee so a transfer is out of the question.

Really the sector is not for me. i didn�t think it would be so much about sell sell sell. i just want to something which does some good for people or makes a difference for the better.
id like to work in local government or something policy related etc. i need to use my mind more creatively. id like a 9 to 5 job really and want to be able to take up interests and make efforts to make some more friends in a new place. Been with the company on and off for 8 years and am bored tired and want out.

[rocklolo]

Hi steve!
I have just escaped the rat race myself and i have resigned from my post in retail on friday. I am a former business owner and was offered a retail management post last november.I have never felt so bloody stressed and as you says the atmosphere these days in retail is soooo crap!
Do not forget that the compagny do not care about you and in their eyes you are just a number to bring the figure this year and the golf post will be moved by next year true?
Hubby ,excellent rep for a huge compagny cracked up 2 years ago,i wish you would see him now! because that would probably think that it should never happen to you so young .
So think of yourself and your wellbeing,your girlfriend too!
because working like a robot 24/7 will not bring you that.
you will have to change your lifestyle so do not be afraid.
grab life in both hands and embrace it. Think that life is a rollercoaster lots of up and down and go with it.
If youare good and loves selling why not looking into import/export. This is a big trade and money making too.
Learn about this trade with your girlfriend for exemple and i can assure you it is fascinating. NO STRESS there.
Your parents will be more happy to see you stable,happy even if you are far away and reassure them but tell them you need your life back and they will understand .
meanwhile do like me get an another job without the stress.
Come on steve chin up and let us know! XXXX

[steve208]

I know i moan on and maybe some would say just to pull my socks up and make an effort but it just would not work out i dunno its like just having the wrong tools for the job. i can do the job i just deep down dont agree with the role - the need to sell more and more etc.

Im just unsure if i should prevail for a bit longer as the advice page on the site was saying it looks bad to leave after less than 8 months but it would be better for me to leave before end of September so that they can get someone new in time for Christmas trading.

[dot.hawkes]

Thing is, if you are miserable and unsettled at work it will reflect in your performance, and that is a definate no no in retail, you have to be positive and motivated and you seem to be just the opposite. The atmosphere of retail is down to the relationship you have with your staff and customers, how many of your staff feel the same way as you do? have you been bothered to ask them how they feel about their job? Do you find your customers leave the place feeling they have recieved excellent customer service? Check your mystery shop criteria and I think you personally will find you are going to fail and not tick any of the boxes.

[steve208]

ok there is clearly two schools of thought here.

1. pull my socks up get on with it etc.

2. get out if you dont like it and just put energy into finding something better.

i am sorry to those who may get annoyed by me but we are all different and i just look at things and worry a lot ive always been like that.

[dot.hawkes]

Steve : 'I didn't thionk it would be so much about sell sell sell'

Sorry Steve, it is retail, get out now, you are not suited to it.

[bobtheturkey]

people on here cant help you steve you know the solutions to your problems take them or shut up its your choice

[steve208]

ok dot i also must say i find that annoying too that i have to constantly put on this aroura that i am fine all the time and be mr happy to everyone at work. i am not saying i am low all the time but there are days when i just cant face work i have such low confidenc ean dslef esteam.