Half of all single mothers don't want to work

[AB Asks]

A report has found that half of single mothers don't want to work. Labour is trying to reduce the number of people on living on benefits and current schemes to get lone parents into work are currently failing. There have been some discussions over the summer about withdrawing benefits from those who outright refuse to work. This approach was taken in the US by Bill Clinton in the nineties and proved successful. Labour is instead going to offer more incentives and extra benefits to encourage people to work. What do you think? Should we act like Clinton and withdraw benefits if these people refuse to work? Or are more and better incentives the way to encourage lone parents back into a job?

[LoftyLottie]

Thanks Ice-Maiden. I best go!!

[LoftyLottie]

Oh, and I didn't shout at my children all day long. We had lots of laughs and lots of shared experiences, good and bad: and they have benefitted 100% with the increased confidence and increased ability to deal with the big bad world out there and communicate effectively with people from all walks of life. I might not have been able to give my kids all the material things they wanted, but they have never complained about it.

I say again, how can shutting little ones in a nursery with a few adult staff (who with the best will in the world, wont be able to give the kids proper love and individual attention) and lots of other little kids, prepare them for anything!!!

[Ice-Maiden]

It's each to their own, but you sound like an excellent mum!

[netibiza]

Of course they don't want to work with the state paying for everything. I was a stay at home mother because my husband supported me. If people want children they should be able to support them.

[Ice-Maiden]

Yes, but life doesn't work like that does it? I'm also lucky enough to be able to stay at home and raise them in the way which I think's best, but just because someone's fallen on hard times, or can't work because of some disability, does this mean that they shouldn't be allowed to have children? I think not. I find it strange that many working people moan about about families on benefits, but if it was that brilliant - why don't they stop working themselves then? There are different sides to every story, and everyone has an opinion. I think you should respect that, as I respect yours.

[Jillius]

I probably watch too much Jeremy Kyle lol !!

[annie0000]

Loftie - you are speaking from your perspective which is fine - that is not the experience I see every day. But you should be happy that I am out working to buy you and your children food while I can't afford to stay at home all day myself. You imply that working parents are 2nd class parents where as in my experience a mixture of both is best. However, it is better for kids to be with competent strangers than with sub standard parents

[aims1202]

loftylottie i agree with everything you have said and it seems there arent many who think this way!
Like you i think being a parent is the most important job in the world. I believe that one parent should stay at home and look after the kids when they are young. I think there should be benefits for every parent to do this. I do think that parents who say they cant afford not to work do not mean they cant survive without working, but they cant afford the lifestyle they have got, without working. But i believe children are worth the sacrifices and its more important to be there with them than give them more materially.
I am a single mum on benefits and i give my son the best i can. I do not sit on my arse (as some have said) all day and shout at him or ignore him. We do loads together, mostly free stuff and i talk about everything with him. I think i'm very lucky to be able to stay at home with him and i am grateful for the money i get.
It can be isolating being a single mum though and i was in a new area when he was a baby so when my boy was 2.5yrs i did go back to work for 2 days a week. He went to a childminder but i found it very hard to leave him at such a young age and i also had less money to live off. We were both really unhappy and i think you have to do what is best for your child and that was to stop working. I was only there for 3 months. I plan to go to work when he is at school full time.
cont

[aims1202]

cont
why do people think its so wrong to do the best by our children? and why is is wrong for people on benefits to do things like go on holiday? When my boy was born i started saving a tiny bit each week and when he was 3.5yrs we were able to go on holiday. is that really out of order?
I do not have luxuries like a car, i cant afford to buy things for myself, i dont smoke and i dont buy lottery tickets!
my friends who are on or have been on benefits sre nothing like some of you described and they do go to work when their children go to school.
Some of you may see people on benefits who are loaded but i think theses are a minority and are probably cheating the system. There will always be those who do things like this but that doesnt mean it should be stopped completely.

[annie0000]

I am sure that there are many parents both single and couples, on benefits and working who give their children wonderfull upbringings - However there are also those whether on benefits or not that dont. The benefits sytem does not make any distinction.

Perhaps if you are providing such wonderful childcare, you could offer to do that for some other working parents and earn an income at the same time?

What I am saying is that because we are supporting people who decide to stay at home and claim benefits - no matter what type of parent they are - lots of people who would like to do the same can't. Do you think it is fair that working parents can't afford to reduce their hours because they are paying for your PC and internet connection?

I know that it must be hard being a single parent or a family on low income. It is also very hard for working parents to leave their children, if we all decided to do the same, where would the money come from?

Incidentally - we have mostly managed to both work and look after our children at home becasue we made sacrifices - those sacrifices would have been less if we were not paying so much tax.

You cant happily take money from other people to fund your lifestyle and then accuse working parents of not providing the proper level of childcare for their own children.

If comes back again to the fact - who is going to pay for the option of having all parents staying at home with their children and who is going to work to support the economy?

[netibiza]

Well said annie totally agree.

[Le Chat]

My sister works for a government funded body in a rough part of Liverpool. Out of the window of her portakabin office, she sees hoards of 'ferel' kids running around, throwing stones at cars, fighting, abusing neighbours etc. Average age being about 6 yrs! The mothers are in their 'little palaces' generally on the doorstep in their silk PJ's smoking and not taking the blindest bit of notice of their offspring.
The charity in the cabin next door is now payoing for these mothers to have beauty treatments and pamper days free of charge!
We remarked how it is us, the worker (part time) with children, run ragged trying to be all things to all men, who need the free pamper day. It's quite sickening!

[LoftyLottie]

Just to say Annie - I am not a single parent, I have never been on benefits. You have never gone out to work to support me and my children. My husband and I are the only people who have supported our children. Don't jump to conclusions!!

[LoftyLottie]

.......and funding nursery care comes from taxpayers as well (of which I am one and have been for years and years) I would rather my taxes support families so that parents can look after their children during their formative years. In the long run it will be better for the economy for the reasons I have already put forward and firmly believe in.

Good luck to you aims 1202. In my opinion you have your priorities right and I don't begrudge you any support you get.

[aims1202]

I'm assuming you mean me annie? i think we had this conversation before! You are not paying for my pc and internet connection. my grandad, who was 96 and died recently gave all his grandchildren and great grandchildren a present this year and mine and my sons was second hand laptop and money for the internet connection. He was a very kind generous man who did not have a lot of money but did save and he wanted to spend this on his family before he died. If it wasnt for him we would not have it. Just because i am on benefits does that mean i am not allowed to have this gift?
Even if i was paying for it with my benefits surely it is better to spend it on something like this.
Also you might like to know that i met my boyfriend on the internet and we will be moving in together in the near future, so i wont receive benefits anymore! plus i'll be working too when my sons at school.

[aims1202]

Just to say thanks loftylottie!

[aims1202]

I also wanted to say that i think all parents should get help if they need it to be able to have one stay at home with the kids. The money they use for help with childcare (tax credits) and to fund childcare for 3 and 4yr olds could be used for this instead. Parents should be encouraged to be with their kids and not made to feel as though they are no good if they do.
There should be excellent childrens centres in every town (there are some) that mums could take their children to everyday to have the chance to play with other kids and meet mums before starting school.

[annie0000]

Personally, for the most part we were also able to arrange that we could stay at home with our children, but have never claimed any benefits. But I get really fed up with people castigating working parents for using childcare when they are taking money from them in order to stay at home with their children.

Benefit money belongs to the claimant when it is paid out, it is therefore up to them how they wish to spend it, it would be nice to remember sometimes that it is coming out of the pockets of ordinary working people who are also trying to make ends meet.

As for funding to have a parent stay at home out of the money paid out in tax credits and nursery places - what planet are you living in that makes that balance out - bearing in mind that you will also have thousands of new benefit claimants who used to work in nurserys and as childminders and are now unfortunately out of a job.