No one knows the personal thoughts & feelings of an individual just before committing suicide, as sadly, they don't live to tell the tale.
However, my younger sister attempted suicide at the age of 17, due to finding out that her boyfriend was engaged to someone else. She had no idea & was absolutely heartbroken, although we all tried to console her.....
Fortunately, my husband & me were staying at Mum & Dad's that weekend & on taking her a cup of tea in bed in the morning, found her in a comotose state, with no response at all. It was such a terrible shock & the feelings of losing her were indescribable.
She was rushed to hospital, where she was eventually revived. The sound of her being sick & wailing as she came round was music to our ears. She went on to marry someone else....
In Mark Speight's case & many others - there but for fortune go your or I......very, very sad.