Are manners important?

[anotheoldgit]

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/42676 /Why-Britain-is-so-blighted-by-bad-manners

We have always been proud of our manners. In fact we would often say sorry to a person even if it was not our fault, that they had trod on our foot.

Are manners a cultural thing, prevalent amongst the British?

Why does it seem that manners these days, are quickly flying out of the window?

[NiceCupOfTea]

I believe that manners are a cornerstone of society. Without them, or the rules, we have no way of knowing how to interact decently.

I obviously don't mean the posed up version that high society have going on, just the normal ones that help people alongside you get along.

Like helping people who are obviously struggling, or letting someone who is desperate go ahead of you or just any auld thing that shows some niceness.

That's not the same as manners actually now I think about it. I do think, though, that they are intrinsically linked.

[NiceCupOfTea]

I forgot to say that I think you displayed excellent manners for rating everyone eligible with their stars by the way. Lots of people don't bother. That's not a hint.

[Ice.Maiden]

Yes, good manners are very important. It shows respect for other people. If my children forget to ask nicely, then they don't get, and whatever comes away again if they don't say thank you!

[Goodsoulette]

My toddler is a mixture of the both, he always say please and thank you, even if its me asking him if he wants to face the wall, he still says no thank you. Yet he has also mastered blowing a raspberry, followed up with a blowing the horn signal and telling me to jog on. It would probably help if I didn't laugh at it but its just soo funny!

[wee willie]

i could be quite abrupt to this Q
but thats my personality
the country has gone mad

[Ice.Maiden]

That's brilliant goodsoulette!!! Awww......
I remember when my eldest son blew raspberries at me when he was peeved if he got told off. One day, he turned away and said: "Mummy, I'm going to blow TWO raspberries at you!" I gave him a "look" as he spun round, and he said - "Watch, then!" He blew a raspberry, and then this awful noise came out of his nose....followed by a bubble......I burst out laughing at his revolting display!!!!
Willie - I'm sure we know what you mean.

[mosesg]

I think that the lack of manners in Britain today is causing a Yob culture and if something is not done about it soon it will not be safe to live here. I don't think it is too much to have a little respect for other people and I think being taught good manners is the best way to respect people

[keyplus90]

Unfortunately in our society the number of those people is on the rise who when they see their kids using "F" words, believe that they are becoming Tough. And that is enough encouragement for any teenager.

[cado]

haven't read any of the replies and answering to your question
"Are manners important?"

yes manners are very important. it's what makes us civil to each other and help mould our personality.

from my observation of some of the people on here, sadly many of them lack manners and respect.

[Kromovaracun]

There is a difference between manners and formality. Manners are important in that, as people say, they're civilized and they just make everyday life more pleasant. Formality - for want of a better word - however is extremely annoying (e.g. 'you must respect your elders.' irritates me no end. I'm polite to my elders - but I'm not just giving my respect to anyone unless they've earned it. If you have to order people to respect you, then in my opinion you don't deserve it.)

On the learning of manners, I'm not sure I agree on the parental argument. Sure, parents are important in that they should support what you learn, but in my case it was really my school which taught you basic manners. To give one example, I'll instinctively hold doors etc. without thinking of it simply because it was drummed into you at my school. But then, I guess, this is just my experience.

I have to say, though, bad language really doesn't bother me. I do accept that there's a time & place where it broadly isn't appropriate though (restaurants etc.)

[jake-the-peg]

I should answer your question about whether manners are a cultural thing and whether they are in any way especially British.

Yes obviously they are cultural, we learn them within our culture - they're pretty similar in most western cultures but vary when you travel further.

For example in some countries it's rude to accespt something the first time you're offerred it you have to wait to be asked at least 3 times.

It's certainly not perculariarly British either. One only has to think of the Japanese obsession with manners or the extreme "civility" of pre-revolutionary French aristocrats to see that.

I also think that every older generation seems to think the manners of the younger generation (esp. teenagers) have gone to hell in a hand basket. I certainly remember my parents generation whinging about it and I think there's plenty of ancient Roman writing on the subject too - especially the young Roman men with their long hair!