children's birthday party

[Hgrove]

This year I have decided not to invite a few children (who were invited in previous years) to my daughter's (sixth) birthday party because we have too many from my daughter's class already.  The mother of one of these has already asked me once if I have done anything about daughter's birthday yet and I mumbled something about having booked a hall and an entertainer... not very wise of me.  I am quite sure that this person is bound to ask again where her son's invite is.  Should I pre-empt her and explain that we can only invite children from my daughter's school?  Avoid meeting up with her?  (Not easy as I am not very good at excuses).  Or should I wait till she asks?  She is the only one (of those who we cannot invite this year) who I think is going to take offence at her son's not being invited.

[SGKelloe32]

You could explain that you were limited to the number of children you could invite because of the cost. Say you let your daughter choose who she wanted to invite this year, after all, it is her party!

[andy hughes]

This is tricky, with no really simple way out. One way is simply invite the child involved, and avoid any confrontations, or tough it out and reply as advised previously. Good luck with which ever you decide - kids eh?

[smudge]

Yes kids eh? If it's really worrying you, then invite him, but if you do, she will only expect you to invite him to any other little do you may have for your daughter. As SGK says, it is her party.

 

It's a bit like when your daughters get married - who to invite & who not to invite - nothing changes!

[Ouisch]

If you bump into her again and she asks about it, perhaps you can blame your spouse..."my husband (or wife, dunno if you're male or female, sorry) had a fit and put his foot down...Little Susie could only invite X amount of children, and by the time we'd invited the kids from her class, we were at the limit.  Susie is dreadfully upset that some of her friends (like your boy Ronnie) can't come, but Hubby won't budge."

[Hgrove]

Thank you all for the replies.  I'd rather not invite them because there are, after all, three or four other children we are not inviting owing to numbers and it just doesn't seem right that one person should get an invite just through being pushy...  I just can't decide whether I should broach the subject myself first or wait for her to mention it...   Either way I shall give the reason that we have to limit numbers and can only accommodate children actually in her class and a few who were with her last year in Reception.  Thank you again.

[smudge]

I think I would have to approach the Mum at the school gates & say "I'm really sorry about this, but I'm having to limit the number of children going to 'daughter's' party. It started to get a bit out of hand for me to cope with & I'm just inviting the children from her class & who came last year". That is a good enough explanation & if she takes umbridge, that really isn't your problem Have fun at the party! 

[paulz]

I'd just come right and say it before you're asked. Combine all the answers above, just say "Sorry we had to stop somewhere" As others have said, blame the cost of it all.

 The last time we had a do for my daughter, one mother turned up [univited] with the child in party dress and virtually barged in.  There's very little we could do but it's very unfair on the kids.  Good luck!!

[ursula62]

I'd just hope that this mum doesn't have the internet, otherwise she will know what's been going on!

[JustScarah]

Might be a good thing if the other mother DOES have the internet, then she could read just how hard it has been for Hgrove to deal with this situation, and the reason Hgrove has given, is the real reason why the other child wasn't invited, and not for any other malicious reason!

 

   Hope the party goes well!

[xxlizziexx]

deary me! thats got the be awkward! personaly i think you should explain to her that there is to many people and not enough room in the hall, as she is the only one at least you dont have to do it to alot of people. just explain that theres not enough room and that your deeply sorry, its hard to eaither go up to her adn say this or wait for her ot ask you. in a way it would be really polite if you went up to her and explained it then she might think that you are polite for doing so and wont take it that bad. on the other hand she might never ask. personaly i would go to her and explain it beacuse then at least its off your mind ey? hope this helps xx

[Francis Asis]

Am I the only one who thinks this person is terribly rude for asking in the first place?

[xxlizziexx]

what do you mean Francis Asis ? that the the mother of the son asking about the party? if tha t then yes beacuse she shouldnt assume that  her son is coming.

[Hgrove]

I think it is rude to urge an invite for your child to someone else's birthday party just like it is very bad manners to complain about who you're seated next to at a wedding reception etc etc etc but people do all of these things...  when I got married someone had the gall of complaining about who she had been seated with at my wedding reception;  she even said that she and her two friends were "very different people" to the other five they had been seated with (making a table of eight).  I never felt the same about her afterwards and I suspect she never forgave me either, and we gradually stopped seeing each other afterwards.  However, this particular person has not (yet) asked for her child to be invited;  but I think she (of the few who we cannot invite this year) is the only one who will take it badly.  I am grateful for all of the advice and comments.