Office Bullsh1te

[R1Geezer]

http://tinyurl.com/y8ruook
I don't know anyone who doesn't take the pi55 out this, yet it still seems to exist, so who uses/invents this stuff? What's your favourite? Any worse ones not on this list?

[B00]

Had to laugh at "moon on a stick" that's what we say to our 5 year old and her constant demands for things.

[Ankou]

some people on here could do with taking a bite out of the reality sandwich !!

[China Doll]

'Moon on a stick'

Funny.... My family still use that phrase to me and I'm 31... She won't grow out of it Boo! ;0P

As to office jargon, anyone uses it around me they just get laughed at or a funny look so no one does any more.

[R1Geezer]

come on ahms, take the low hanging fruit and synergise with the symbiosis, perlease!

[R1Geezer]

So steve are you failing to levarage the Elephant in the room then?

[jackthehat]

I offered a possible solution to an office niggle once, and was informed that it would be 'run up the flagpole to see if anyone saluted it'.........

[R1Geezer]

... and presumably at some point there was a stir fry in the strategy wok!

[jno]

jackthehat, I think you heard the correct version and Sky has got it tangled up (so to speak) with flying a kite and seeing if it stays up.

Actually, I think most of these are just fine, though some are getting a bit overfamiliar. Here's to brighter language. They're just metaphors - a bit like 'taking the pi55', which presumably you think is ok.

[olddutch]

Oi Ahms, now now

"Why gives a flying firkin??? It's all double Dutch to me!"

Dont start ! Respect for Netherlanders with beady eyes !

[BertiWooster]

- Let's run that idea up the flagpole and see if it flies (simply trying out an idea);

I'm aware of - '' let's run it up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes''
I'm quite happy to use that , which isn't particularly, office associated

But I agree some of these phrases make me cringe -e.g '' going forward ''

[jno]

The jargon isn't meaningless. The phrases and sentences all have meanings. You can say you prefer other ways of expressing them if you want, but that doesn't invalidate them.

[birdie1971]

Several years ago, the company I worked for had a Director who loved to use phrases like 'let's build a synergy', 'push the envelope', 'think outside the box' etc, etc. Several of us who detest kind of thing set ourselves the challenge of getting meaningless phrases minuted in meetings – the idea being that even though no one else in the room would know what we were talking about, they'd be too embarrassed to admit that they didn't know what it meant.

We weren't too successful but we once got the phrase, “a black and white rainbow” in the minutes.

Try it! People will nod and look thoughtful. But no one will question it.