start the day with a smile !

[Bobbisox]

An old lady dies and goes to heaven.


She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates
when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams.

Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter,
'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.'

The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the conversation.

A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.

'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?'

'Not to worry,' says St. Peter,
'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.'

'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.'

'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter.
'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.'

'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.'

Bobbi ♥

[Bobbisox]

The Funeral Procession



A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee

when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching

the nearby cemetery.
~
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse

about 50 feet behind the first one.


~
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
~
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
~
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be
a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?'
~
'My wife's.
~
''What happened to her?'
~
The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her'
~
He inquired further, 'But who is in the second hearse?'
~
The man answered, 'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her.'
~
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.
~
'Can I borrow the dog?'
~
The man replied, 'Get in line.'



Bobbi ♥

[crisgal]

ha ha very good!

[tamborine]

Nok no soh? lol Bobbi dont let Nok and his no soh put you off - just 'cause his football team are rubbish & he lost at snooker.....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ;)