Is this rude or am I being insensitive?

[Riss]

I'll condense this bit: A year ago I befriended a woman online who's daughter died 2 years ago,she was being harassed and bullied by a gang of women on a website she went on,2 invited themselves to the funeral and then reported back to the rest of the gang who from the day of the funeral hounded her saying the most vile things ever.Naturally I was outraged at this and offered her support and we became "cyber friends". We exchanged Xmas presents,and at the beginning of the week it was her birthday so I sent her a Moonpig card (it came a day late) and a cream tea by post.She wasn't in when the postie bought it and seems uninterested in picking it up.I hinted at the fact it would go off,but she still didn't .The thing that is bugging me,she didn't thank me for the card or present,and when I asked if she like the card she said "I got your card if that's what you mean". Am I asking too much expecting a thank you or a bit of enthusiasm?

[joggerjayne]

This lady had been through a terrible experience ...

... but she sounds quite horrid.

[society]

She has you up her craw :-)

She's probably sad she's gotten a year older.

She's probably missing her daughter at this special time

She probably has more sad but important issues going on in her life and has to deal with them.

I could go on...

[ummmm]

Hard to say....

What time of year is it for her? Anniversary? Birthday?

Grieving people are irrational.....

[RJUKL]

I would be really upset and made to feel a fool. It is impossible to understand this unless someone else has stepped in (unknown to you) and told her lies about you).

[ummmm]

As Society said....we could go on...

[Quentin_Crisp]

She just sounds a bit rude, but maybe she's still affected by her sad loss, Riss.
Can see your point though.

[Riss]

We email each day and she says the same thing over and over,about the women on the website.I try to tell her they need help and should be pittied being so vile but she cant let it go.I suggested she went to the police which she said she did,but they didnt do anything.

[Bobbisox]

lessons to be learned here Riss I'm afraid, you know what they say about Familiarity, I would do the 'cooling' off bit if I were you and put it down to experience
Bobbi ♥

[Riss]

I am Bobbi,I am so skint at the mo it not funny and was p'd off becasue I still bought her something nice and tried to cheer her up on her birthday.

[Bobbisox]

and she maybe going through a stressful time, if she needs you Riss she will come back to you once more

[ummmm]

Has she got any 'real' life friends?

[society]

Well Riss, then break lose from her. Seem like she's causing you stress. Personally, I always stay away from unimportant things or issues which reek havoc in my mind or cause stress.

[Bobbisox]

I understand what you mean Riss but beating yourself up about it is just upsetting you, I think another poster has hit the nail when they say someone else could now be in the equasion
Good Luck

[Riss]

She says she has friends,but who knows I am in London and she is way up north

[Nosha123]

ooh Riss that does seem a little odd...
Maybe she is indeed an bit of an odd one! We all know one afterall!
If it really is a bee in your bonnet.. and you are not precious about the relationship.. then you could send a nicely worded email explaining that you are skint but still wanted to send her a token gift she would appreciate - just to let her know she has a friend in you and someone who cares - but that you dont feel that it was appreciated and you are a little hurt and confused as to why!
be careful how you word it - as you know how emails can be misconstrued!

it may end in her getting humpy and cutting you off... but if you aren't that bothered at least you may find out why she is like that!!!

We love you though!!!!
mwaaa

[Bobbisox]

I have 'aquintances' here in the North who are in London one of whom I have become quite close to, we speak on the phone ect; she's great but like me, she will have here 'real friends in time of need Riss, too much distance between us
♥

[Riss]

Nosha-cheers pal x,Bobbi,I think I was championing the underdog (again!)

[1955]

Why does she go on this website if the women are horrible to her? She has been a bit insensitive in not thanking you but maybe she doesn't like cream teas or is not particularly bothered about cards (I'm not). She obviously has other things on her mind.

[DEN53]

Riss - what a lovely lady you sound - reading your post - I think this woman is very rude - grieving or not - it does'nt cost nowt to say 'thank you'.

Sounds like she is obsessed with these horrible other women - I would back off and see what happens. Cyber friends may not always be what you want them to be.

[Bobbisox]

well at least you will be more cautious in future, be friendly of cause but hold something back in reserve Riss