Step mum from hell

[Bottom]

My step mum recently left my dad for her Ex Partner, she then came back after 3 mths and they are now trying again which I do not argee with, but its my dads life and he makes his own choices.

Whislt she was gone my partner helped my dad finacially and now owns half of his house, where we all live now. The problem is that she is 36 and my dad is 52 and she acts like a child most of the time,I dont feel confident enough that she will stay, and still angry at what she done to my dad.

I done a party for my dad for his birthday and all my family and friends come. She got so drunk and started saying nasty things about my grandad to my neigbours and things got really bad, If I was her I would be on my best behavior as my family are not impressed with her at the moment because she hurt my dad. She seems to not care about anyone but herself and has so much front. She also does not care about what my partner and me have done for my dad as he would have lost his house if we did not step in to help. We only plan to stay there for 1 year then sell and go our own ways.

Since the party on saturday she has not come out of her room. I am not sure how to handle the situation as I am still very angry at her for the way she spoilt my dads party, Do let it go or pull her up on it? or will I make it worse? I do all the cooking and she usally washes up, but I have just been cooking for me and my partner the last couple of days, my dad is a long distance lorry driver so he is only home weekends and usally buries his head in the sand, Please Help Me

[PunkDaddy]

Sounds nasty. But I know for a fact I wouldn't put up with, not only because she is supposed to be with your dad, and generally when in a relationship making the other person happy is what is important, not destroying them. But seeing as you own half the house that she is living in she has no right to make everyone feel uncomfortable, let her know that, and how you feel about her. But be ready for an argument by the sounds of it.

[Bottom]

Thank Punk, She is very Immature for her age. You stamps her feet etc,

[undercovers]

it sounds terrible - for you and your patner but especially for your old man - rather than having it out with this women couldn't you get a chance to take your dad somewhere peaceful and have a chat to him about how you feel and what you think is best for him. I guess you should look into the legal impacts regarding your house should they divorce e.g. will she be intitled to a share of your house? i'm not legal expert but it would concern me if you part own this property with this women.

[jills]

I know this will sounds harsh, btu your dad needs to grow a spine and deal with this woman.  You seem to be bearing the brunt of teh worry here because he's away at work and you say he buries his head in the sand.  All very well, but you're his daughter and he owes it to you to help sort this problem out.  If it was just their marriage that was at issue, he could deal with it how he likes, but it's not...it's affecting all those around him.You are clearly very concerned about your dad and as well as helping financially, you are obviously extremely supportive adn concerned abotu his general welfare.  He needs to be just as concerned about yours .  This women is his wife and you need to let him know how much grief she is causing for everyone.  I'm sure you could explain this to him if you got some time with him alone, as undercovers suggests.  He needs to realise that letting his wife do what she wants and not saying anything to her is just not an option anymore.  

[Miss Zippy]

 What a difficult situation you�re in.  Your step-mum has to be made to realise that your family dynamics have changed since she left and that she has to work hard at earning your family�s trust again, especially your dad�s. It really is up to your dad though to sort this out with her, it�s his marriage after all but you�ll have to explain to him the effect his relationship with your step mum is having on you. It really isn�t fair that you and your partner are left to deal with your step mum during the week while your father is away.  Do you have a family member who your dad listens to who you can discreetly involve and so you can sit down with your dad and try and work things out?

[Bottom]

Thanks guys for all your advice, I am going to speak to my dad alone and see what the outcome is???