ChatterBank1 min ago
partners not 'putting out'
50 Answers
recently read in the paper about a man who killed his wife because she'd refused him sex for 2 years. An extreme example to say the least but the cause of it was the ongoing sexual neglect inflicting on him by someone who was no doubt happy to enjoy the security of a relationship with him but not have any physical feelings for him (thats 'in my opinion')
The disparity between what couples view as 'often enough' sex is hardly uncommon. I know of alot of male friends of mine who are resentful of wifes/partners not putting out enough. No doubt there are equal amounts of men who arent showing their wives enough attention in that department as well.
But if the frustation of sexual neglect would be enough to tempt you into cheating, you are always going to be in the wrong and jeopardise your marriage, family and house. Is denying a partner their sexual needs fair? There is always an underlying reason why one partner doesnt want to participate (its not you its me etc etc) Fair enough, but does that partner not realise that an outlet has to be provided for their other half who still has the urge?
Its something couples have to work with I guess. But if one partner is happy with every other aspect of the relationship are they going to want to fix something they're not really bothered with? Talking it through will more than likely lead to resentment and creating a sexual taboo between the couple; this is because it should come naturally and not need to be discussed.
The disparity between what couples view as 'often enough' sex is hardly uncommon. I know of alot of male friends of mine who are resentful of wifes/partners not putting out enough. No doubt there are equal amounts of men who arent showing their wives enough attention in that department as well.
But if the frustation of sexual neglect would be enough to tempt you into cheating, you are always going to be in the wrong and jeopardise your marriage, family and house. Is denying a partner their sexual needs fair? There is always an underlying reason why one partner doesnt want to participate (its not you its me etc etc) Fair enough, but does that partner not realise that an outlet has to be provided for their other half who still has the urge?
Its something couples have to work with I guess. But if one partner is happy with every other aspect of the relationship are they going to want to fix something they're not really bothered with? Talking it through will more than likely lead to resentment and creating a sexual taboo between the couple; this is because it should come naturally and not need to be discussed.
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My wife and I have been very lucky and throughout our long relationship we have always been very well matched. Both of us are less inclined as we get older but we still look forward to having quality time with each other at least once a week.
A lot of the matching comes from a long history of great sex together. When one is feeling that way the memory of how nice it is is easily rekindled in the other. We have never had to discuss "not getting enough".
It is really important to make sure sex works well when you are young or it will go bad with age. Women who fake it are making a very big mistake.
My wife knows quite a few women who are disappointed that their husbands are not up for it anymore so the problem definitely isn't all one way.
A lot of the matching comes from a long history of great sex together. When one is feeling that way the memory of how nice it is is easily rekindled in the other. We have never had to discuss "not getting enough".
It is really important to make sure sex works well when you are young or it will go bad with age. Women who fake it are making a very big mistake.
My wife knows quite a few women who are disappointed that their husbands are not up for it anymore so the problem definitely isn't all one way.
At the same time though if the women has no urge then it should be discussed between the two. Sex is too taboo still. I talk to my O/H about sex often and we have been together a long time now. You have to communicate otherwise you will start to wonder if the grass is greener. He should have approached the situation like the adult he is supposed to be.
Not everyone has a high sex drive, if at all. Some couples are not exactly matched sexually but are in every other way - there are ways to cope with this!
Not everyone has a high sex drive, if at all. Some couples are not exactly matched sexually but are in every other way - there are ways to cope with this!
