Tough love or Tea and sympathy?

[cassa333]

I have a friend who is Very over weight. She has just found out she is heavier than even she thought (28st).

She has been on anti depresants for a number of months. She is only 22yrs old but very imature.

What is the general opinion on how to help her? Tough love or TLC?

[bednobs]

gastric bypass

[cassa333]

Are you offering to fund it bednobs?

[B00]

Personally i'd do the latter for a small while, then lose patience and do the former.

[askyourgran]

See her GP.

[China Doll]

I'm pragmatic so I'd probably offer to go on a diet with her or do some form of exercise with her which is my way of being sympatheitc as I wouldn't believe sympathy to be particularly helpful. Sure empathise away but basically, she needs to lose the weight or she's likey to encounter all sorts of health problems and become more depressed.

[China Doll]

She'd have to commit to losing weight before the bypass though Wiz (not sure how much) I think. It's to show that she can make proper choices when it comes to food after she has the surgery etc...

[China Doll]

Perhaps she thought it was a private surgery, she could be googling away now Wiz! :c)

[cassa333]

googleing what?

They don't do gastric bipass or banding round here unless you have a BMI of over 65.

Although 28st hers is only 55.2 so any surgery would have to be self funded.

A couple of weeks ago I offered to go to slimming world with her and take her to the park when I take my two but so far she hasn't taken me up on it. Although to be fare she only found out her true weight yesterday at slimming world so has for someitme been in denial about her weight.

[woofgang]

sympathy. She doesn't need it any tougher than it is and needs to make her own mind up about what to do. The lightbulb has to want to change.

[China Doll]

She could ask her GP to refer her to a dietician who specialises in mobidly obese people. I know we have a service like that for paediatrics so I assume there must be something similar for adults.

[B00]

Yes but there's only so much sympathy cassa can give her.

Frankly if my mate was whinging about something, but refused to do anything about it, i'd quickly lose patience.

[B00]

I just assumed- apologies if she's not.

[cazzz1975]

be supportive, I would imagine she feels very low and any negatives could have her reaching for the snacks. try to keep her positive, she probably doesnt want to go out because she feels so bad about herself. it will take her a few days to get over the shock of the scales. when she comes to terms with it suggest the walks again err more towards a nice scenic walk rather than the "you need to lose weight" slant